Sally's World

yep, I was fed up and I just ate a cake, and do go thinking we are talking a cup cake, even a small, "serves seven" effort...nope, a "serves 12, chocolate decadence..."

I feel a little sick....bblllluuurrrghhhhh!!!!

I like to think of myself as a fairly calm person, I feel I have had alot to deal with in life, and I always pick myself up, dust myself off and start again.

Okay, so I can almost hear you all scoffing in amazement, and I know I have told you all about a few of the times I have gotten very angry...but that doesn't count, they were all instances of protecting/sticking up for my children, everyone knows that's 'free' anger...

But there are just days when I feel so bloody angry I actually want to jump up and down and have a full blown tantrum.

It's not anything specific, its just a feeling, I don't get it, there are days when people are so rude to me, or so horrid to me, and I can smile and let it go, then there are days when a tiny thing, no-ones doing, can send me over the edge.

I'm pretty good at hiding it (surprise surprise) but where does it go, what happens to the internalised anger???

Okay, we're stranded, Deion's wheelchair broke down yesterday....the repair man came out today to fix it, after lots of chin rubbing, lots of head shaking, muttering about parts and components, he announced he couldn't fix it, he had to order parts. So he's taken it away, as he didn't have the right tools.

I guess mechanics are mechanics!



I am now panicking about Deion having it for return to school....

We had to go back to the school outfitters for one more thing today, and I think I did something silly...but for the right reason (I think!!!) When I was paying, the proprietor said that he was going to give me a discount for Deion.... now, I know what your thinking, "keep your mouth shut, take the discount..." but not me, before I knew it my mouth had overridden my brain (AGAIN!!!) and said 'WHY?'

The guy probably thought he was being nice, but it smacked of pity, no-one else got money off, does a wheelchair entitle you to discount in any other store....ermmm...no!

In my defense, if I hadn't asked, Deion would have. Its hards treating him the same as everyone else is it...big sigh!

I'm a proud mum, Jordan passed all his exam's (seventeen SEVENTEEN!!!) All A's apart from a couple of B's and one C (German). He got an A star in Chemistry....

Huge sigh of relief and pride!

Well done J xxxxxxx

Jordan has gone to school to get his exam results.

I'm not really worried (she says as she paces the room and bites her nails), Jordan is brighter than most, certainly left me behind in the school work years ago. He's not nervous, he says he knows he's aced them (note to self, do something about Jordan's confidence levels)

Its a first for me, even though he isn't my eldest, Aaron never took exams, even if he'd still been with us he wouldn't have. His achievements were measured in many other, and quite frankly, more fun ways by his school.

It will be different again for Deion. Deion has already shown some nervousness about his. He's just done the Sat's at primary and he found it quite stressful. He got extra time, there is a system so that depending on disability, extra time is awarded, and Deion can even have a scribe for some parts, and can use his specially adapted computer for others.

But all this stuff is time consuming, so even though Deion knows his stuff, he finds it hard to record it in time.

I've told him not to worry about it now, its three years away (but oh my, how quick that will pass)

I guess its just one other thing he has to deal with.....

Deion has come up with a new slogan, he's very proud of himself, he's been wearing 'Wheelchair Demon' and 'Wicked on Wheels' for a while, and he asked me if he could have a 'skills on Wheels' one.

So here it is, what do you think? This is the first time we've used the gold and silver lettering too.

Lots of people have seen it and ordered it, I love the feedback we get from kids wearing these t-shirts, they are really making a statement, its fabulous.

I was reflecting earlier at the difference of Deion going on to secondary school as opposed to Jordan and Robyn going.

When it was their turn, I stressed about making sure we had all the right uniform and stationary,and I worried about the size of the school and them getting lost because they were used to such a small primary school, but it struck me how different it was this time, how different the things I am scared of are!

While we were in the school outfitters and we were trying on Blazers, we had to consider different things, after all, Deion's going to be sitting in a wheelchair, the blazer has to be comfy for that, not too stiff, a bit longer so he can sit on it so it doesn't bunch up around him. We tried on 12 before we found a suitable one. It took me about a year to explain to the salesman that the trousers had to be slightly longer, as he sits down all day, therefore come up short, (he hates his socks showing).

The bag needs to be bigger and sit right on the wheelchair handles, he has to fit so much stuff in, his shoes need to be easy to take off and on so that his toileting care wont take longer than necessary.

I'll have to make a big pad delivery out of school hours so that he has all he needs and his school friends don't see and tease about 'nappies.'

I need to pick up the months menu to make sure he's eating what is manageable for him.

Of course, Deion wont have the option of taking the shortest route to each class as he has to go the accessible way, or via the elevator. We have to pick up his lift key

We have met the 4 people who will be responsible for all of Deion's personal care and toileting needs. We have met his one to one classroom assistant

The school have ordered the height adjustable tables for his wheelchair to sit under, re arranged every class so Deion can manoeuvre, ordered the hoists, changing beds, cabinets e.t.c

We even have the whole school to ourselves the day before everyone else starts so Deion and all the workers involved can get used to each other.

Then theres Jordan and Robyn's preparation

We walked into the school outfitters, said 'we'll have that, that, that and two of them and left!

Thank you for all Your get well wishes and e-mails, Deion is now fully recovered from his operation. He still managed a smile for me bless him, he's made of strong stuff this one!!!

From This...


To This...


To This...

Always do right.

This will gratify some people

And astonish the rest.


Mark Twain

Okay, I promise, these are the last swine flu jokes, a collection of the best ones that people forwarded to Deion via e-mail and face book. I thought you might like them, they made him squeal with laughter (sorry, couldn't resist)

I called the Swine Flu hotline - all I got was crackling

The doctor asked me how long I'd had the symptoms of Swine Flu.
I said it must have been about a Weeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Apparently my mate's got Swine Flu - I think he's just telling porkies!

The only known cure for Swine Flu in humans has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.

IF YOU GET AN EMAIL ABOUT SWINE FLU DELETE IT AS ITS ONLY
SPAM.

Swine flu however, is not a problem for the pigs because
they're all going to be cured anyway!

News Flash .... This just in. The world's religious leaders have issued a joint declaration that the Swine Flu pandemic is the start of the
aporkalypse.

Swine flu has now mixed with bird flu.
Scientists say they will find a cure when pigs fly.

I just heard on the news that "Swine Flu could potentially be a threat to every single person in the world". Well it's a good thing I'm married then, isn't it?

This is not a time for panic. It is no pig deal.

It is a mild hamdemic,don't believe the spam you're getting.

Okay, so we had guests for dinner, guests I didn't want but all the same, there they were, all sitting at the dining table, waiting to criticize me.

My husband said grace, blessed the food gave thanks for the company...

All the while I said my own grace...it was more along the lines of,

Please God let me get through this meal without stabbing ------- in the eye with my fork, let me put up with -------'s talk of all bodily functions without vomiting in my food, and please, please God if ------ moans about my parenting/housekeeping/cooking skills once more, then please strike her down with a lightening bolt (try to miss my favourite serving dish if you can).... failing that, just kill me now.

Luckily my guests all had their heads bowed in prayer, and Deion was the only one who noticed I was making stabbing motions in my chest with the knife.

We didn't see this at the hospital, Deions a bit disappointed.

BY TRIANING DOGS TO GIVE MOUTH TO MOUTH, THE NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE HOPES TO CUT COSTS!

Trojan of Trojans corner videoed a review that inspired me to take the kids to see this film. And I'm glad it did, we all really enjoyed, it, lots of fighting and chase action, some humour, a love interest. What I loved is the fact that it wasn't just one main character, they all had their own Little story, even the baddies....

Definitely worth going to see

Well it turns out, anxiety and stress is a good way to burn calories....I appear to have lost a few pounds....goodness knows how, at the hospital my diet consisted of about sixty cups of sugary vending machine coffee a day, twenty candy bars and a couple of cardboard sandwiches, since we've been home I'm eating more than normal.... but the scales insist I'm five pounds lighter....strange...

I'm trying not to be too pleased, does it seem shallow????

I know you have all heard me talk of my good friend Trojan, well, his mum has started a blog too, it is definitely worth reading, Gloria speaks of uprooting her life in London to live in Spain, she talks lovingly and with humour of her husband, her dogs and her new home...go here to see her new blog.... http://gloriacarringtonferrira.blogspot.com/

My favourite posts are 'the day I met my prince' (I actually barked with laughter and made the kids jump) and the poem 'every time I see your face'... it's simply beautiful.

I've known Gloria for a few years, mainly through conversations with Trojan, and I feel that I know quite alot about her, her strength and how she raised her sons alone, she certainly didn't have an easy life. What I love about her blog is that you get to see a softer side of her, a playful side...

welcome to the world of blogging Gloria.

Thank you so much for your messages to us both, you all warm my heart.

A new day, and Deion's feeling a bit stronger, happy to be home.

I am shattered!

I expected to get into bed and be instantly asleep, seeing as I'm totally exhausted, but instead I spent the night plagued with thoughts of 'what if?'

Is this something you all do too?

What if I hadn't got Deion straight down the doctors?
What if I'd waited?
What if he hadn't been cautious and sent us to the hospital?
What if they've sent him home to soon?
What if, What if, What if........

I know it serves no purpose, its a waste of energy, counter productive, but its been haunting me all night.

At the hospital there was no time, I was next to Deion's bed making sure he had what he needed, stroking his hair away from his head, reassuring him....In my own bed, listening for Deion in the next room, I found it impossible to switch off.

I am grateful beyond imagining that he is okay, I know I could be sitting here saying 'if only...' but I can't quite seem to shake the anxiety.

My emotions seem to be a little close to the surface today.....Sorry!

Goodness, me, sorry for my absence from my own and your blogs this last week, we had a bit of an emergency!

Poor old Deion seems to be going through it at the moment, he complained of a tummy ache last week Thursday, and being the (often criticized) over protective mother that I am, I took him straight to our family doctor, who sent us straight to the hospital to be checked over, they took some bloods, diagnosed appendicitis, admitted him and got him to theatre...the appendix had perforated and leaked, so he was on IV anti-biotics for five days,threw up when they tried to get him eating and couldn't poop....so we didn't get home until today.

We are glad to be home, he is feeling pretty good now, but between the laryngitis, then the swine flu, then the appendicitis, he must be waiting to see what happens next. Amazingly, hes still smiling, what a star.

I need to catch my breath and I'll get back on the blog. I have some posts to catch up on!

Also I think I need a good chiropractor, the fold down bed I slept on (attempted to sleep on) next to Deion's bed for the last week has left me feeling like a ninety year old woman with arthritis!

All in all its been a bit scary and left me feeling a bit shell shocked, I'm doing my usual thing of sticking a smile on it, and getting on with it, but its got me realising once again how fragile life is. And just how terrified I am that something will happen to another one of my children.

Back soon

Sal xxxx