Sally's World

A friend sent me this, I thought it was sweet, and way too true! I am passing it on to you all to remind you to realise your own worth and the worth of the women in your life....

A woman!

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Do you know why we’re not valued? … I'm sick of this sort of thing happening!

When I got caught up in a fight about the education department's duty of care to my son earlier, they all looked shocked...why??? was it because I was eloquent and knew my rights??? they even asked me what I did, I said I was a full time mum..then someone (who is still living...just!) said "but you're not JUST a mum are you?" ermmm.... what???? JUST a mum!!!

Trojan and I did our third live radio blog yesterday afternoon, we spoke for 45 minutes about the lack or respect and appreciation full time mums/carers get from family, society and the government on the whole. Obviously it’s a subject very close to my heart, and one I am very passionate about. So please click on the radio blog to the right and have a listen, and let us know what you think. You may agree or disagree, we want to know either way.

As promised in that radio blog, I have a small list of agencies/support groups who may be able to help you get what you need and you are entitled to.

http://www.familyfund.org.uk/ A charity aiming to support, advise and possibly help with funds for families with severely disabled children.

http://www.carerslewisham.org.uk/ A charity providing advice for people looking after ill or disabled friends and relatives. Directory of support groups and meetings.

http://www.carers.org/ For support advice, information

http://www.direct.gov.uk/ For information on being a carer

If you contact your local borough council, you can find out lots of information on the groups you have in your area. I know first hand how isolating it is at times to be a carer; there is help and support out there for you. Not as much as there should be, and not as widely publicised, but it is there.

Also don’t forget to look up wish foundations, they are a lifeline for families who have children with life threatening and terminal illnesses, we had a foundation help us and it made a huge difference to us as a family.

And of course, I’m here if you think I can help you with anything, or point you in the right direction.

Take care xxx

Do you know why we’re not valued? …I do, it’s because we don’t bloody well value ourselves enough thats why.

When you’re out and when someone asks you what you do…how many of you feel happy saying I’m a mum, how many are proud to say I’m a carer. More importantly how many of you have said those words and seen the look of disinterest in the person's eyes. And sorry to say it, especially if it's a man who's asked.

Of course being just a mum and a carer means you couldn’t possibly have anything of interest to say to that person. I’m sure they’ll soon be scuttling off just in case you start talking about nappy changing, children’s books or god forbid…childbirth, after all, that’s all we could possibly know anything about.

No, its true, I couldn’t possibly be in my fourth year of a psychology degree, couldn’t possibly be a published author, couldn’t possibly speak two languages, run my own business and know more about advertising, marketing, taxes, finances than most people in the room….nope, I’m a mum, a carer…see ya!

Of course that person may have more luck next time, the next person they ask may be a teacher, a receptionist, a lawyer, a doctor, a chef…you know, someone who really contributes something to our society, not someone who sits at home all day drinking tea, eating cake and watching daytime TV…thank goodness, this time they might find someone who has something interesting to say.

Of course, you may walk past them ten minutes later and hear them talking about Eastenders as if it's real life…what a shame you missed out on that intellectual conversation…after all, I for one wouldn’t be able to hold my own in a conversation about any of the soaps on TV…I don’t watch them, I’m far too busy editing my novels, doing my tax returns, arranging hospital apointments and making sure my kids, husband and customers are happy to sit on my arse and watch TV!

So when someone asks…say it, say I’m a MUM! I’m a carer, and you know what, if they look bored, feel free to tell them that there’s no point in having a conversation with you because YOU are way out of their league, there’s no way they could understand someone as complex as you…they don’t hold a candle to you and you need to know that. As soon as you believe in yourself, it will shine through.

Right, I’m off to beat someone up…

Sal xxx

Okay, I’m a little mad, and a lot hypocritical.

We are having some building work done to the house at the moment. And me with my irrational need to be in control, offered to source and buy the materials. So over the last couple of days I’ve been to the builders merchants for a whole load of things I never knew existed. I’ve been in my oldest tracksuits, make-up free, with my hair un-brushed as I trotted around the shop, not getting an offer of help from anyone passing by as I tried to drag huge bags of bonding agent onto my un-steerable trolley…I’ve had to almost beg the actual shop workers to help point me in the direction of what I needed. So I’m achy and sore and fed up of building materials.

Today however, I had a couple of appointments, so I had to stop at the builders merchants in between times. So instead of my usual unkempt paint splattered self, I was looking a little different. I was only in jeans, but fitted ones, heels and a blouse, complete with a smart jacket. Not only was my hair brushed, and my lashes were laden with mascara, I was also wearing perfume and a splash of that elusive lipstick I’m always trying to find time for.

So today, I had lots of offers of help. I only needed one or two things, but a total of three men…who didn’t even work there stopped and offered to lift the ‘oh so heavy’ aqua board sealant tape into my trolley. Another man lifted a sheet of board for me, and someone who worked there loaded said items into my car.

And the worst thing of it all I guess is that I let them, I even smiled and thanked them sweetly. Afterwards, I though I should have ranted about how shallow they were, how dare they offer to help me because I looked nice and ignore me when I was looking bedraggled on my last couple of visits. But today, I was actually quite happy to stand back and let these men load my trolley and car. I was glad I didn’t have to get my jacket dusty and in a way felt it served them right for ignoring me last time, even though these were different men, perhaps they were just gentlemanly and would have offered to help regardless of my cleavage and butt hugging jeans….mmmmm!

Did I feed their chauvinistic attitude? On the whole I don’t do the ‘helpless female’ thing. Today, I just didn’t have the energy and went with it.

Is it any wonder that women, on the whole are insecure about their looks. It’s bad enough that we are made to feel inadequate if we are anything bigger than a size ten thanks to most of the celebs we see. But on top everything else we have to do, we have to get out the hair straighteners, eyelash curlers and slap on some make up to feel we’re worth speaking to.

Maybe I’m being oversensitive, is it just human nature to be kinder to more attractive people on a whole. Are we all shallower than we like to think? Regardless or whether we’re happily married or in a relationship, do we enjoy the male attention anyway? Who are we really wearing make-up for? Does our self worth and confidence in our looks depend on a man paying us attention?

Note to self…wear lipstick when buying building materials!

Sal xxxxxxxxxx