Sally's World

Well it turns out, anxiety and stress is a good way to burn calories....I appear to have lost a few pounds....goodness knows how, at the hospital my diet consisted of about sixty cups of sugary vending machine coffee a day, twenty candy bars and a couple of cardboard sandwiches, since we've been home I'm eating more than normal.... but the scales insist I'm five pounds lighter....strange...

I'm trying not to be too pleased, does it seem shallow????

Thank you so much for your messages to us both, you all warm my heart.

A new day, and Deion's feeling a bit stronger, happy to be home.

I am shattered!

I expected to get into bed and be instantly asleep, seeing as I'm totally exhausted, but instead I spent the night plagued with thoughts of 'what if?'

Is this something you all do too?

What if I hadn't got Deion straight down the doctors?
What if I'd waited?
What if he hadn't been cautious and sent us to the hospital?
What if they've sent him home to soon?
What if, What if, What if........

I know it serves no purpose, its a waste of energy, counter productive, but its been haunting me all night.

At the hospital there was no time, I was next to Deion's bed making sure he had what he needed, stroking his hair away from his head, reassuring him....In my own bed, listening for Deion in the next room, I found it impossible to switch off.

I am grateful beyond imagining that he is okay, I know I could be sitting here saying 'if only...' but I can't quite seem to shake the anxiety.

My emotions seem to be a little close to the surface today.....Sorry!