Sally's World

Why wild dolphins in the Bahamas? I know most of you have heard about swimming with dolphins in captivity in special centres, and I hear its incredible. We wanted a different experience though. Before we booked our trip and while we fund raised, I did a lot of reading, (no change there then), I read about the dolphins themselves, and I read about peoples experiences, and most importantly I read about how those people were afterwards.

Now one thing was obvious, no-one came away from their experiences with the dolphins without having had a life altering experience. But one thing became obvious the more I looked into it, and that was that the beneficial effects of swimming with wild dolphins seemed to outlast those of people who swam with captive dolphins.

There's lots of speculation as to why, some reports suggested that as wild dolphins are happier, they can give more. Others simply that the whole experience is freer, and therefore more therapeutic. But just as no one knows quite why dolphins are so beneficial, no one really knows the answers to that question either.

So we went off to look around on the Internet with Aaron on my lap, and he clicked off onto a group called Wild quest. We delved a little deeper and it seemed just what we were looking for.

Not only was this a group that took you out to swim with wild dolphins, it was actually a healing family week. Perfect. So off we went. I'm a bit of a water baby, so I couldn't wait to get there. Dave was a little apprehensive as he'd never swam in the sea before. The kids have no fear of anything, so they just wanted to dive right in and have an adventure.

When we got there, the size of the island was a surprise, it was tiny, and quite underdeveloped, and probably the most natural beautiful place I have ever seen. And the wild quest crew were fantastic with all the kids. They looked straight past Aaron and Deion's physical limitations and saw them for who they are as people. Total acceptance, as many of you know, is very rare indeed.

Although we initially thought we were going for Aaron, we all benefited. Deion, as you all now know has cerebral palsy, and we were not quite prepared for the effect the week would have on him either. All of our faces the first time we caught a glimpse of those magical dolphins gliding through the water must have been a picture. And the noises they make, I can't quite put it into words, but it's a sound that vibrates right through you and makes you feel totally peaceful. Like I said, words are inadequate here.

It wasn't all smooth sailing (pardon the pun). As I said, Dave isn't the best swimmer, I often tease him that he swims like a brick. He has a whole big excuse about his muscle being more dense than ours, closer to the surface, subcutaneous muscle he says, makes you heavier in the water. Whatever Dave!!! The day we saw a tiny baby tiger shark in the water though, his subcutaneous muscle didn't kick in and he practically ran on water to get back to the boat. He shot past me quicker than I've ever seen anyone swim! Of course it would have been better if he hadn't left an eight year old Jordan in the water to fend for himself.

But before you ring social services, don't worry, there were plenty of other people in the water, and Jordan got back to the boat safely. We'll never let Dave live it down though.

Anyway, when we got back; friends, family, teachers and doctors couldn't quite believe the change in Aaron. He was more alert, his eyes were wide open and he had more energy than we knew what to do with. So we broke our necks and got back there every year, every time we touch down in Bimini it feels like coming home, wildquest crew have become family and it became our way of keeping Aaron strong. A sort of secret weapon, if he became week or ill, we booked a flight.

Thats why we scattered Aaron's ashes there, it was like taking him home, now we think of him flying through the waves with his dolphin friends. I know that's where I'd want to be.

Take care, see you soon. xxx

Trojan from Trojans Corner has worked his magic again and made this beautiful short video album of our trip to the dolphins...it brings back memories so sweet it brings tears to my eyes.... Thanks Trojan, you are an angel...go to http://www.trojansgallery.blogspot.com/ to see his lovely post on the subject.



Why wild dolphins in the Bahamas? I know most of you have heard about swimming with dolphins in captivity in special centres, and I hear its incredible. We wanted a different experience though. Before we booked our trip I read about peoples experiences, and most importantly about how those people were afterwards.

One thing was obvious, no-one came away from their experiences with the dolphins without having had a life altering experience. But one thing became obvious the more I looked into it, and that was that the beneficial effects of swimming with wild dolphins seemed to outlast those of people who swam with captive dolphins.

There's lots of speculation as to why, some reports suggested that as wild dolphins are happier, they can give more. Others simply that the whole experience is freer, and therefore more therapeutic. But just as no one knows quite why dolphins are so beneficial, no one really knows the answers to that question either.

So we went off to look around on the Internet with Aaron on my lap, and he clicked off onto a group called Wild quest. We delved a little deeper and it seemed just what we were looking for.

Not only was this a group that took you out to swim with wild dolphins, it was actually a healing family week. Perfect. So off we went. I'm a bit of a water baby, so I couldn't wait to get there. Dave was a little apprehensive as he'd never swam in the sea before. The kids have no fear of anything, so they just wanted to dive right in and have an adventure.

When we got there, the size of the island was a surprise, it was tiny, and quite underdeveloped, and probably the most natural beautiful place I have ever seen. And the wild quest crew were fantastic with all the kids. They looked straight past Aaron and Deion's physical limitations and saw them for who they are as people. Total acceptance, as many of you know, is very rare indeed.

Although we initially thought we were going for Aaron, we all benefited. Deion, as you all now know has cerebral palsy, and we were not quite prepared for the effect the week would have on him either. All of our faces the first time we caught a glimpse of those magical dolphins gliding through the water must have been a picture. And the noises they make, I can't quite put it into words, but it's a sound that vibrates right through you and makes you feel totally peaceful. Like I said, words are inadequate here.

It wasn't all smooth sailing (pardon the pun). As I said, Dave isn't the best swimmer, I often tease him that he swims like a brick. He has a whole big excuse about his muscle being more dense than ours, closer to the surface, subcutaneous muscle he says, makes you heavier in the water. Whatever Dave!!! The day we saw a tiny baby tiger shark in the water though, his subcutaneous muscle didn't kick in, and he practically ran on water to get back to the boat. He shot past me quicker than I've ever seen anyone swim! Of course it would have been better if he hadn't left an eight year old Jordan in the water to fend for himself.

But before you ring social services, don't worry, there were plenty of other people in the water, and Jordan got back to the boat safely. We'll never let Dave live it down though.

Anyway, when we got back; friends, family, teachers and doctors couldn't quite believe the change in Aaron. He was more alert, his eyes were wide open and he had more energy than we knew what to do with. So we broke our necks and got back there every year, every time we touch down in Bimini it feels like coming home, wildquest crew have become family and it became our way of keeping Aaron strong. A sort of secret weapon, if he became week or ill, we booked a flight.

Thats why we scattered Aaron's ashes there, it was like taking him home, now we think of him flying through the waves with his dolphin friends. I know that's where I'd want to be.

xxx

How do I keep my energy levels up some people are asking me?

How do I wind down after hectic days others ask?

Energy? That’s easy…chocolate, caffeine, sugar….no, I’m kidding, I know I talk about my bad eating habits, and I do have a sweet tooth. But I do make sure we all have a balanced diet. I suffer with IBS so avoid too much wheat and I don’t eat meat. I know a good diet is very important with regards to health and energy levels. I also drink herbal tea rather than have a lot of coffee.(Besides too much coffee and I am literaly bouncing off the walls).

For me, I believe that the more you do, the more energy you have. If you sit down and do nothing, you get tired, but if you keep moving, get up and do something, you’ll find your energy increases. Play music, dance around the house, whatever, just do something. I know most people can relate, if you have twenty things to do, you get them done, if you only have two or three, something gets missed. It’s all about the get up and go.

To wind down, I use yoga…it’s saved my life countless times. Yes, my days (and nights) are hectic to say the least, and I do have insomnia as you all know. But by spending 20 minutes doing yoga each night, I do get in a relaxed state. It’s easy to meditate after a yoga session and even if sometimes I don’t get to sleep, yoga…brilliant substitute for me. Otherwise I look a tad scary in the mornings....

When we go to Bimini and Wildquest, there are daily yoga sessions, its all part of the healing nature of the dolphin weeks. The kids are great at it, and Aaron was often found tying himself in knots and wrapping his legs around his head whilst in his wheelchair (I kid you not!).

If you want to try it, there are some great on-line videos and stuff, so it’s easy to see if it will fit with you.

Namaste!

Sally xxx

One of my daughters friends e-mailed me last night to ask how she can help with fundraising. I was touched and very proud of her. I guess Trojan and I are getting something right, it's lovely to know that we are inspiring people to think of others. Although she may regret her kind offer in time...I fully intend to rope her right in now.

We have done alot of fund raising in the past. We started small with jumble sales, raffles and auctions, then we quickly progressed onto head shaving (not a good look for me),nor was it the right time of year...note to self...only shave head while residing in a tropical climate. We did some bungee jumping, which frightened the life out of my poor mum, and we reigned it in a bit with the occasional pub crawl...all in the name of a good cause of course, the hardships we endure. Next time though we'll rethink the St Trinians outfits.

There are tons of things other people can do to help, a friend of ours did a the great north run...madness if you ask me...I'd rather throw myself off of a crane from 300 feet up in the air attached to nothing more than a glorified elastic band...oh yeah, did that! In fact did it twice it was so much fun.

I have now decided to do a parachute jump, and I can't wait, my mum's not quite so happy about it though. She says I give her grey hairs, which is not entirely fair, my brothers and sisters have to take at least some of the responsibility on that one. Although, to be fair, I did promise no more bungee jumps...and as far as I'm concerned I'm keeping that promise...sky diving...much better. Dave is desperately trying to find comprehensive life insurance that covers jumping out of a plane from 20,000 feet up...good luck with that one Dave. Even the kids questions on what will happen should my parachute fail to open, aren't putting me off.

We have lots of ideas for future fundraising events. Via the blogs and You Tube we aim to keep you posted, and of course the charity site will be up and running soon with all upcoming events listed. There are always things you can do to help, even if it's just spreading the word. We have been overwhelmed so far by the response and the compassion of others. We rope in family and friends all the time,and are eternally grateful for their unwavering support, but it is often the random act of kindness from a stranger that amazes us.

If you want to know of ways you can help, then please e-mail me. And I promise, I'm not expecting anyone else to jump out of airplanes or to get straight down the barbers for a number one. Unless you really want to that is. I bet I get inundated with people offering to do pub crawls though!!!

Take care

Sal x

Hi there, I know I said I would write this weekly, but apparently, I lied and here I am less than a day later.

I had 16 e-mails yesterday through the Heaven's Special Child site, all from people who'd seen the video and blog, all asking me about Aaron. Well there was one guy who asked me for a date, which only led me to question his eyesight and/or the level of alcohol in his blood stream, I know I didn't look my best okay!!!!

A couple of e-mails were from mum's with children who have terminal illnesses, a few were from mums and dad's, and mostly they were people asking about Aaron and the books. So I thought I'd write a bit about him here for people to see.

What to say about Aaron. Aaron is the most incredible person I have ever met in my life. He didn't just meet life head on, he wrestled it to the ground and beat it into submission, and he never NEVER let his physical limitations hold him back. He did everything. For a child who couldn't talk, he was surprisingly forceful in getting his own way, he'd point to the place or activity of interest, then point to his own chest and say 'me now mum' in his own way.

At first it was tennis, football, karate...no problem, I was a little worried about archery (as was the instructor who nearly got shot in the backside). I barely hesitated when he wanted to go rock climbing and abseiling. White water rafting, I was less sure about and voiced my concerns to Aaron, but he gave me a look that sent me scurrying off to the computer to find the tamest version of this sport that I could. When we decided to swim with dolphins in the warm waters of the Bahamas, I was surprisingly keen (shocking) and had it arranged before anyone could say 'Bahama's, no Sal, I said bananas.'

When he wanted to visit Lapland however, I was horrified, 'me now mum' he pointed. 'But its really cold Aaron, you can't keep warm as it is,' I said. So Aaron signed Father Christmas...'me now mum.' By now I was stamping my feet, rubbing my arms and making bbrrrrr noises for emphasis. 'but its minus 40 there Aaron, are you mad?' so Aaron looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I sighed and rang the travel agent. Yep, mad!

But the truth is, we went willingly on Aaron's adventures, and if we didn't he would have dragged us bodily anyway!

Now, I'm not going to pretend it was all fun and laughter, anyone with a special needs child knows it is hard work and at times you reach a level of tiredness you didn't know even existed. Aaron had a syndrome that not only meant he was as strong as an ox, he didn't feel pain, self injured and had violent outbursts. So he smashed windows, we fitted toughened glass, and when he ripped his radiator off the wall, we fixed it with reinforced steel fixings, and when he threw the TV at me, hey, it was our fault for not bolting it down. He broke my nose more than once, knocked me out a few times and I lost a couple of teeth...but I have more teeth, and hair grows back I reminded myself every time Aaron was holding a clump of mine in his pudgy little first.

But then, Aaron had a way of saying sorry with a hug and a gentle stroke of your face and you could forgive him anything. Because after all, there was nothing to forgive. Even when he decided it was time to leave us. I think he believed he had taught us all the lessons we needed and his little body had fought so long. He was ready to go.

Oh, I'll not pretend I didn't have a few tantrums at the unfairness of it all, after all I'm only human (don't tell anyone), and a mum who had lost her baby boy. But mostly when I think of Aaron I'm grateful. Grateful he chose me to be his mum, grateful he was who he is and grateful beyond words that I got to spend 14 incredible years with him. No-one can take that away, and he made me into the mum/wife/daughter/sister/friend/person I am today. The thought of him fills me with love, and that goes for anyone who knew him, because he embodied the true meaning of the word.

So thank you for your e-mails, I am always happy to talk/boast/gush about Aaron.

I welcome your comments.

See you soon

Sal xxx