Sally's World

I like to think of myself as a fairly calm person, I feel I have had alot to deal with in life, and I always pick myself up, dust myself off and start again.

Okay, so I can almost hear you all scoffing in amazement, and I know I have told you all about a few of the times I have gotten very angry...but that doesn't count, they were all instances of protecting/sticking up for my children, everyone knows that's 'free' anger...

But there are just days when I feel so bloody angry I actually want to jump up and down and have a full blown tantrum.

It's not anything specific, its just a feeling, I don't get it, there are days when people are so rude to me, or so horrid to me, and I can smile and let it go, then there are days when a tiny thing, no-ones doing, can send me over the edge.

I'm pretty good at hiding it (surprise surprise) but where does it go, what happens to the internalised anger???

We all have them don’t we, people in our lives, that no matter how busy you are, no matter what you have going on, they’ll ask for a favour. They ask how you are first, not really wanted to know of course. So we shoot ourselves in the foot by saying “fine.” when we’re anything but…and they take it as an invitation to say, “can you just …….(fill in the blank) for me, I just don’t have the time/know how/energy?”

And I mean to say “NO!” I honestly do, I mean to say; “look at me, I’ve had two hours sleep, my sweater’s on backwards, I haven’t brushed my hair, I barely know what day it is, do it yourself!”
But somehow; “sure, no problem, leave it with me,” flies out of my mouth instead.

I’m just one of those people who can’t stand to see someone go without if I can do something about it.

I’m getting better, I’m focussing my energy more on people who really need my help, it doesn’t stop people asking, I’m just trying to be better at saying “NO!”

Exhausted!

Sal xxxx

I got a couple of e-mails yesterday after I posted the blog about Deion’s test results. Thank you for those. I am both grateful to you for the support, and sorry that you are in a similar position.

At least I know it’s not just me I guess, I was started to get paranoid there!

It seems that keeping parents in the dark is the standard procedure. After all, we are merely the people who have to love and care for our children, we are merely the people who have to plan every aspect of their lives, their care, their schooling, their future basically.

So I guess it is understandable that we are considered the last people that need to know what, if anything is wrong with our children....

I hope you hear soon too, I’m getting to the point where I’m going to take a flask of coffee and a sleeping bag and move into the doctor’s office to get noticed!

Maybe I’ll see you there...bring cake!

Sal xxx