Sally's World

Deion can go to the secondary school of his choice….yay! Suddenly all the phone calls, letters, care plans, arguing, demanding is all worth it.

The school is being adapted so that he will have suitable toileting facilities; it is all agreed, we are ecstatic. It probably seems silly to get so excited over something Deion should be entitled to anyway…but we all know being entitled to something does not guarantee it, doesn’t even make it likely….not here!

Of course not everyone is happy, I am being blamed for other projects in the borough getting shelved…all because I wouldn’t back down…you see I’m evil like that, fancy demanding a toilet for my son…oh no!!!


I am being blamed for a large part of the budget going on this toilet…but you know what, I don’t really care, its to like I’m only doing this for Deion, now many children with disabilities and/or incontinence issues will be able to attend this mainstream school, have more choice, more freedom and more dignity…

Education should have got it right the first time round, should have taken the right advice form the right people…then it wouldn’t have been a big fight or money from the precious budget.

All I know is we are happy because Deion is happy…now there is just transport issues….matrix funding and key workers to sort out… ding ding…round six!

I know I have spoken about this lady before, but it is still getting quite a bit of coverage, people are still talking about her, and I am shocked at the amount of parents who think her disability will scare their children...openly admitting ignorance if you ask me...

On Cbeebies there is a new presenter, she’s a pretty girl, bubbly, good at her job, but dare I say it…she has a disability, she only has one hand. I have to say, I didn’t even notice at first, and I expect most kids didn’t…but parents actually started making complaints, hundreds of them flooded in apparently.

What a joke!

Some insensitive 'idiot' (for want of a better word) actually said… "Is it just me, or does anyone else think the new woman presenter on Cbeebies (Cerrie Burnell) may scare the kids because of her disability?

"I didn't want to let my children watch the filler bits on the bedtime hour last night because I know it would have played on my eldest daughter's mind and possibly caused sleep problems... and yes, this is a serious post."

Amazing! and sadly..no, it wasn't just him!

I truly cannot believe that so many people would discriminate so freely, perhaps if he was more sensitive, his kids would be too. Kids really don’t care about disabilities, until they are taught to do so, they may be curious, which is natural, but scared…I doubt it very much???

Other people accused the BBC of employing her to score points, actually accused the BBC of positive discrimination can someone explain this term to me please?

Cerrie Burnell rose above it, and even though she was said to be disappointed by the criticism she still welcomed the discussion…

"It can only be a good thing that parents are using me as a chance to talk disability with their children," she said. "It just goes to show how important it is to have positive disabled role models on CBeebies and television in general."

Good for her.

This young lady has a child herself, is her child going to grow up frightened…NO! Because her child will be brought up in a household where differences make no difference to what a person can achieve.

Here, see her for yourself, and you tell me...is she scary? intimidating???

Now, as you all know, one of my children is merely posing as a normal schoolboy to protect his superhero identity...Yellow lightning...

Deion had such a good day at school dressing up for red nose day, he loved the photos....so our very own computer expert, Trojan (Trojans Corner) worked his magic, and did this for Deion.

This has made Deions year, it is brilliant, he was so excited when he saw it, it bought tears to my eyes.

Thanks Trojan, you've made one superhero a very happy boy xxxxxxx

A good friend of mine sent me this, the kids and I were messing around with it for ages, it really is food for thought!

CO2 emissions, birth & death rates by country, simulated real-time

It certainly makes you think!

Do you look back and think about your pre child life?

I don’t ever remember a time when I wasn’t a mum, I know I had a whole life before, and I know it was full with family and work and socialising. But I can’t imagine what filled my heart and my time to the capacity that being a parent does.

So many times my mum used to say to me ‘when you’re a mum you’ll understand’ and I do. And I can’t remember myself before.

I can’t imagine waking up and my first thought being me, I can’t imagine going to bed without the kids to kiss goodnight.

Its incredible, and I often wonder who I was back then.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
That if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,than to drink water and be full of shit...

TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1940's, 1950's, 60's and 70's !

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos .

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos.

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and bangers.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY , no video/dvd films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...

We were given catapults for our 10th birthdays,

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!

RUGBY and CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla'

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL !

My daughter came home from school today telling me how a boy had come to her school and threatened a girl with a knife…

Was the world such a violent place when we were growing up, or where we just shielded from it, was there just less media courage?

All I know is that when I was younger my parents felt safe when we left the house. But for me, now, it’s getting to the point where I’m frightened to let the kids go to school, every time we turn on the TV or open a newspaper, another teenager has been shot or stabbed. And it seems to be getting closer to home.

Should I really have to say to my fifteen year old, “if someone threatens you for you phone or money…give it to them, don’t fight back.” After all, phones are replaceable, my kids aren’t, but kids are getting stabbed at an alarming rate for mobile phones, i-pods, or anything come to that.

I’m sick of opening the paper to headlines about knife culture, gun culture, gang culture. Gangs are on the rise, and apparently it seems to depend largely on you school and postcode…quite frankly I’m terrified. I ask Jordan and Robyn what they see or hear about, and they seem quite matter of fact about knowing it goes on. They tell stories about one gang member turning up at school to fight another every now and then and it terrifies me.

I know there were fights when I was at school, but never more than fists…or a bit of bitch slapping or hair pulling if you were lucky!

When I pick the kids up from school, there are always police around, dozens of them, they want to put metal detectors in schools to stop kids carrying weapons…it was never like this when I was young, I don’t know a single person that carried a knife. And these are the GOOD schools!

What frightened me a few weeks ago was, as part of the crack down on knife crime, the police stopped a bus in the morning, it had nothing but school kids on it, the police searched and they found no less than 23 weapons…23 weapons amongst a bus full of 12 to 15 year olds.

What are we supposed to do, wrap our kids up in cotton wool, keep them home, tell them to run, what about Deion, he can’t run, there’s a big increase in disabled people getting mugged and robbed too, its a bloody mine field…

And opening the paper to this…is why…

29th December 2008 - New Knife Crime Statistics
The new figures indicate that in the year 2007-8 there were some 277 deaths from stabbings in England & Wales alone (the highest recorded figure for 30 years). This represents an average death toll as a direct result of stabbings of over 5 for every week of the year!

Was it always this unsafe? Do you remember anyone you know getting stabbed?…every kid I know, knows someone that has either been stabbed or been affected by it…love to know if it’s the same for you and your kids!

My good friend Trojan (Trojan's Corner) sent me this, knowing I would love it...if you are a woman, it will make you laugh, if you are a man...very useful information to follow!!!!

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.(I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome’. That will bring on a 'whatever').

Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

I went to sainsburys supermarket today and did my shopping, on the way back to the car the elevator broke down.

Me and another lady were in there, my first thought was 'god I hope she doesn't panic in small spaces,' my second was, 'will I have time to eat the chocolate cake?'

The other lady pressed the button twice...no reply...pressed it a third time..

A crackly voice says "hello can I help you."

"We're stuck in the lift," said the lady.

Pause.

"HELLOOOO," that was both of us..

"Okay, stay where you are, we'll send someone."

Good grief, where the hell did he thing we were going to go??? Where do they find these people???

My good friend Wendy sent me this, I was crying with laughter...a must watch!

This is what My hallway looks like now...what a nightmare. Deion is incontinent and wears pads, special ones with a sort of outer pant and a pad insert so he can try on the toilet.

Every couple of weeks, we get a delivery...this is brilliant and convenient and I am very grateful for it. But, he just doesn't seem to go through as many pads as they send. The pants however, get ruined easily as they are so thin.

Thinking I was being helpful, I rang the delivery service and said not to send pads as I had loads, but could I please have two lots of pants...I was told this was fine...the delivery came, no pants, 2 lots of pads.

I rang them again and told them, said can they just send two lots of pants...no pads...got her to repeat it back, she had it right...got a delivery...two lots of pads...NO PANTS!!!

Phoned again, asked them if they could pick up some pads,
"But store them, you will need them eventually,"she said.
"Yes, but cupboard under stairs packed to hilt, now have had to pile some more in hallway, no space for Deion's wheelchair," I said.
"Okay will pick up ten packets."
"Thank you." very relieved.

Today, knock on the front door, man delivering ten packets of pads "NO!" I yelled...
Frightened man. He looked horrified!
"You're picking up," I almost cried.
"Can't pick up, I just deliver."

Now, Deion has a years supply of pads, the cupboard is packed, have packets stashed under beds and behind sofa...these are the ones I can't find homes for!!! maybe I could try to convince visitors it's some sort of work of modern art....

Thank you so much Becca for giving me this award, I am touched.


The rules...I have to list 7 things I love and then give the award to seven bloggers I love....so, seven thing I love....husband and kids of course, goes without saying....

I also love...

1) Driving on an open road
2) Rich chocolate cake
3) Swimming in a clear warm sea
4) Lillies
5) Long country walks in the spring
6) Walking on the sand
7) Dancing

Blogs I love and nominate are...

1) Trojans Corner http://trojansgallery.blogspot.com/
2) Just-a-mom at Jams own reality http://jamblogging.blogspot.com/
3) Missy at Is it just me http://is-it-just-me-missy.blogspot.com/
4) Isaiah’s mom at Inside Isaiah http://insideisaiah.blogspot.com/
5) Melinda at blogging it from the burgs http://thebrookshirefam.blogspot.com/
6) Crazy Texas mommy at http://crazytxmommy.blogspot.com/
7) Pam at Smelling the roses and dodging the thorns http://stradtt.blogspot.com/

I could easily nominate another 7...but I'm sticking to the rules (for a change)...

Okay, this is something I feel I need to write, it is my opinion alone, how I feel about the related topics and what I read. It is not meant to offend anyone, I’m sure some people are going to criticize…but it is how I feel.

I know I’ve spoken about parents/carers, and the lack of respect and acknowledgement we receive, and I want to respond to one anonymous comment that came through to me a few weeks ago via e-mail. One mum expressed her feelings about wishing her child would pass peacefully away in his sleep, feeling that it would be better for him. She feels that she has been pushed to breaking point. She even quoted a news story from last April…which actually made my blood boil at the time.

Clare Bates (left) was in the news in April talking about how hard it was to be a carer, how pitifully we are paid and how little respect we get. Then she spoke about her own life and how there was a time when she begged her father to kill her son because it was too hard, and she felt she or he had no quality of life. I was shocked that the thought even entered her head. And what shocked me more was the amount of carers and parents who congratulated her, agreed with her and said there were many days they felt the same, many said they had days when they wished their child wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

Well this goes against every fibre of my being, my maternal instinct makes me fiercely protective of all my kids and I would never wish harm to any of my children, and who is she to say her so has no quality of life, I saw the report, he was smiling, he was happy and he was responsive to those around him.

I know what its like to be pushed to the limit by the government, the system as it were, I know what it’s like to have to spend years surviving on just 2 hours sleep a night, and to spend the days getting beaten up by my own toddler/child, have broken bones and TV’s thrown at me…but there was never a moment in all of it when I would have been without Aaron.

Imagine the guilt I would feel now, if I had felt like that, I have no guilt, no regrets, I made sure Aaron knew how loved and valued he is every minute of every day.

If that was a mum talking about an able bodied child or a child who had, for instance a few behavioural or learning difficulties, then there would have been uproar, the child would be in care, and the woman would have been condemned, not congratulated. But as her son is disabled…oh well, its not quite as important, and THIS is exactly why we have the problems we do in society, disabled people are treated as ‘lesser beings’ because of their disabilities.

Of course she hid behind the ‘you can’t imagine my life if you haven’t lived it’ line…but I have lived it, I would give everything I own to still be living it.

There was another news story recently of a mum who drowned her disabled daughter in the bath, and pleaded depression as a defence… A few years ago there was the father, who murdered his disabled son, the mum who hid her disabled son’s body in a suitcase in a shed…and recently another mother and her disabled child were found dead in a lake behind their home, the mum was known to be depressed due to caring for her child.

Now when I started this blog, I promised I’d be honest, so…when I saw that report I wanted to throw something through the TV. As much as I understand being tired, sick of fighting and whatever else it entails, I’m pretty sure that before I got to the point where I would harm my child, I would do something…anything to get some help.

There was another news story quite recently about baby P (right) and his death didn’t provoke any sympathy for the parents (as it should not), and although the cases were very different, what is it in the eyes of society made it different, was it that baby P was not a disabled child.

When a child with a disability is harmed, there are not pictures of the child all over the news and media, is it because society does not percieve the child to be as cute, as lovable??? Perhaps if children with disabilities were seen to be more essential members of society, given the respect they deserve, the support would be there for them and their families.

We are given our children as the most precious gift, regardless of their abilities, who are we to say who is and isn’t perfect. It’s the attitude that makes the disability, not the physical limitations…some of the most disabled people I know are actually able bodied.

So yes, these parents, any parent who harms a child should be punished severely, but so should the parents who hurt their disabled children.

Wow, if this is really a competition, my husband could win this one!!!!

SMART ARSE ANSWER 6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ARSE ANSWER 5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

SMART ARSE ANSWER 4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's
store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

SMART ARSE ANSWER 3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said. The kid replied,
'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSE ANSWER 2nd Place
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?'
The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand'.

I just want to say a very quick thank you to Trojan for helping me revamp my blog last night, he is brilliant at this stuff, and I have to say he has the patience of a saint (well, sometimes!!!)

THANK YOU!

I love the make over...now if only he could do people too!!!!

Let me know what you think!

You can see Trojan's own blog and his brilliant pics at http://trojansgallery.blogspot.com/

Another extraordinary video of an extraordinary person.

Ben Underwoodtaught is blind, both of his eyes were removed (cancer) when he was 3. Yet, he plays basketball, rides on a bicycle, and lives a quite normal life. He taught himself to use echo location to navigate around the world. With no guide-dogs, he doesn't even need hands: he uses sound. Ben makes a short click sound that bounces back from objects. Amazingly, his ears pick up the ecos to let him know where the objects are. He's the only person in the world who sees using nothing but eco location, like a sonar or a dolphin.

Saw this and had to post it....still laughing...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were
out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards
cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were
scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves
had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration,
he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of
little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the
broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the
broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door,
yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me
to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

As today is mothers’ day in the UK, I am naturally going to dedicate today’s post to my mum.

What to say about Mum… my mum is one of the most amazing people I know, selfless, honest, generous, helpful, never overbearing, never pushy, just right. I never realised when I was growing up, all the things she went without to make sure we had everything we needed. Only looking back did I realise I was too busy doing the spoilt teenager thing and asking for the latest ‘can’t live without’ fashion item, to realise that mum wore the same boots year after year, or never treated herself …

My mum and dad always worked hard, always made sure we were comfortable and taught us about morals, honesty and decency….my mum showed me how to be a mum, how to love nurture and support.

And you know, my mum has no clue how special she is. When someone tells her she is great, she looks genuinely surprised and says she is just doing what mums do, she says she is just an ordinary mum, and she is so very much more than that. When people wonder where my strength comes from, you need look no further than my mum. I am from a long line of strong/determined…okay, yes… stubborn…women. Even mum in the past has wondered where Aaron got his determined streak from, or I get my fight from…I just look at her like she’s mad and ask her if she knows herself at all!!!

I can’t imagine how I would have gotten through losing Aaron without my mum, she came, she supported, let me do and say whatever I needed to, got me dressed on the day of the funeral, held me up when the carriage came....

So I may not have appreciated her so much when I was growing up, may not have realised how hard she fought for us, worked for us, but I’d walk through fire for her now, just like she would for me.

When I first started blogging, I wrote about my mum, you can read that post here….

http://sallyannestephenson.blogspot.com/2008/10/wonder-woman.html

I love you mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I Showed this to my husband and he said it was totally ridiculous, he laughed and said it was obviously drawn by a woman without a clue to how a mans brain really works.
"Oh?" I said.
"Yep," he said, "trust me, our attention span area isn't that big!"

I married a comedian!

Am climbing the walls, I’m not used to forced imprisonment …I haven’t stepped outside the house for two days and I think I’m suffering from that illness you get from lack of sunlight…of course, living in London means you’re at risk of that all year round anyway…but I’m used to being out and about, charging around all over the place…

I’m a big fat hypocrite, the amount of times I have wished for a day indoors, now I’ve had 2 and I feel cooped up, like a caged animal…wired on too much coffee and sugar, I’m tidying things that don’t need to be tidied and cooking thinks that I certainly don’t need to eat. I can’t work because Deion is making demands for something very urgent (like jelly babies, drinks, another cushion for his foot) every ten minutes or so, but in between that I am fidgeting, on edge, not used to it, of course, I may now be on a come down from the thirty or so cups of coffee, and six mars bars I’ve had this afternoon…

Dave has to work tomorrow…so no hope of escape, but Sunday I am getting out…that’s just scared Trojan (Trojans Corner) if he’s reading this, because it is him who I am going to see on Sunday, and he now knows just what he is going to have to cope with…and another day to go yet!!!! I’ll be bouncing off the walls by Sunday …better have some camomile tea ready (or a tranquiliser gun!!!)

I just don't know! none of us want to be old and wrinkly, and I hate the term 'grow old gracefully' as I intend to 'grow old very disgracefully' indeed. but to deny the process is madness isn't it? not to mention painful...

And is this what men think women in their fifties look like...my husband was quite surprised when I told him Madonna had probably been shot up with enough botox to kill a horse...and as for the 'three hours in the gym and I only eat a grape and a strawberry a day'...forget it, I get plenty of exercise going to the fridge and back, and from lifting large bars of chocolate to my mouth!!!!

Is Madonna trying to turn herself into Kate Winslet?

She's the queen of reinvention and it seems that Madonna is now targeting the Winslet look.
The 50-year-old, who has stunned onlookers in recent weeks with her incredibly youthful appearance, was a dead ringer for Oscar winner Kate as she had dinner in New York. Her tousled hair and soft make-up made her look almost identical to the 33-year-old who has ditched her English rose image for a more Hollywood look since making America her permanent home.