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Was It Like This When We Were Kids?
Friday, 27 March 2009
My daughter came home from school today telling me how a boy had come to her school and threatened a girl with a knife…
Was the world such a violent place when we were growing up, or where we just shielded from it, was there just less media courage?
All I know is that when I was younger my parents felt safe when we left the house. But for me, now, it’s getting to the point where I’m frightened to let the kids go to school, every time we turn on the TV or open a newspaper, another teenager has been shot or stabbed. And it seems to be getting closer to home.
Should I really have to say to my fifteen year old, “if someone threatens you for you phone or money…give it to them, don’t fight back.” After all, phones are replaceable, my kids aren’t, but kids are getting stabbed at an alarming rate for mobile phones, i-pods, or anything come to that.
I’m sick of opening the paper to headlines about knife culture, gun culture, gang culture. Gangs are on the rise, and apparently it seems to depend largely on you school and postcode…quite frankly I’m terrified. I ask Jordan and Robyn what they see or hear about, and they seem quite matter of fact about knowing it goes on. They tell stories about one gang member turning up at school to fight another every now and then and it terrifies me.
I know there were fights when I was at school, but never more than fists…or a bit of bitch slapping or hair pulling if you were lucky!
When I pick the kids up from school, there are always police around, dozens of them, they want to put metal detectors in schools to stop kids carrying weapons…it was never like this when I was young, I don’t know a single person that carried a knife. And these are the GOOD schools!
What frightened me a few weeks ago was, as part of the crack down on knife crime, the police stopped a bus in the morning, it had nothing but school kids on it, the police searched and they found no less than 23 weapons…23 weapons amongst a bus full of 12 to 15 year olds.
What are we supposed to do, wrap our kids up in cotton wool, keep them home, tell them to run, what about Deion, he can’t run, there’s a big increase in disabled people getting mugged and robbed too, its a bloody mine field…
And opening the paper to this…is why…
29th December 2008 - New Knife Crime Statistics
The new figures indicate that in the year 2007-8 there were some 277 deaths from stabbings in England & Wales alone (the highest recorded figure for 30 years). This represents an average death toll as a direct result of stabbings of over 5 for every week of the year!
Was it always this unsafe? Do you remember anyone you know getting stabbed?…every kid I know, knows someone that has either been stabbed or been affected by it…love to know if it’s the same for you and your kids!
27 March 2009 at 17:26
I know exactly how you feel....it certainly wasnt like this growing up and its so hard to have to deal with it while trying to raise my own kids. Its scarey!!! I truly pray that each and every day they will be safe no matter where they are and who they are with.
27 March 2009 at 18:28
I guess thats all we can do, it seems that no matter what schemes, whatever the police do, it is only getting worse.
27 March 2009 at 18:39
I have a different perspective to this, being I'm from America and live in the country, where knives are thought of as tools and not weapons...
However, our schools get their fair share of "weapon"-style knives brought to them as well. Never used, thankfully, but still against the rules.
I know when my grandparents were in school, even when my mom and uncle were, students were allowed to carry pocket knives. Back then, there were few to no stabbings.
27 March 2009 at 19:24
No, i don't think it was like this when you guys were young, cause it wasn't like this 15-20 years ago when I was in school growing up. Kids would push, punch, and steal yeah, but a KNIFE!?! a GUN!?! these were not things you would worry about. I really think that the over-exposure of the media gives people bad ideas, and makes them plausible, rather then being dismissed.
Also...I hate to say it, but society is really just going to hell in a hand basket. An entire generation of 30-40 year olds who resent their children and most of their marriage if the latest statistics are anything to go by. Add in the Politocal correctness, no hitting, less discipline, gotta give them a time out bullshit! I'm sorry, but this wasn't an issue when I was a kid, and i can't help but think that this generation of parents either really frakking suck at their job, or just don't give a shit. Rules boundaries, I just don't see that sort of thing anymore. No more home by ten, wear your jacket. Heck I was at the movies last week, and I saw 5 teenage girls in tank tops and thin see through shirts. I live in NY, it was 40 degrees out. My mom would have had a heart attack is she'd been there.
I know your a good parent sally, but not everybody is.
27 March 2009 at 19:35
actually, i think no discipline, no boundaries is a big problem, I'm lucky with most of my kids friends becasue their parents think along the same lines as I do...but so many of the kids they know have no rules...I always know where my kids are and what they are doing...that may not be the case in a few years time, but at 12, 13, 14 years old...how can you not know where they are...
I do think kids need to be taught about respect, respect for life and others. But how...and has it gone too far???
knives aren't needed for tools in London,although I understand your point Boyd, but so many kids feel they need them for protection, especially in rougher areas of London, it seems impossible to drum into them that it puts them more at risk.
its one big power struggle, all I know is that we can't protect our kids from all of it, but I honestly don't know how far to go with warning tehm, and teaching them how to protect themselves...
27 March 2009 at 19:39
The conditions you describe are apparently a worldwide issue. It is all over the world. Some places worse than others. The high school my son goes to was actually rated by Newsweek as one of the best schools in the nation. And yet I know for a fact that there is issues of violence and drug use is rampant. I won't even bother getting into the sexual promiscuity problem. (Am I the only parent that has never heard of a "rainbow party?")
27 March 2009 at 19:40
Oh yes things have changed. Girls now fight physically, there are lipstick parties, kids video each other doing oral sex with their phones...and this is the stuff that is mainstream. THe stuff Dateline will report on. We probably don't know have the crap. Scares me to DEATH.
27 March 2009 at 19:46
Wow, well, no, i have no idea what a rainbow part is...and as for promiscuity, things are very different...when I was at school, there was only one girl who WASN'T a virgin when we left school, and we all thought that was promiscuous...it is terrifying isn't it. and drugs, readily available, my son told me the other week how a boy came into school (8am) stoned....
my parents would have killed me, i would have been grounded, had every possession taken away..if I even got wind of my lot getting up to any of this i'd be down on them like a ton of bricks...
i hope we do enough to keep them on the right track...but who can tell...
27 March 2009 at 20:01
I know exactly how you feel. The whole idea freaks me out too. I have written posts about this in the past. I just don't understand how it could have gotten all out of hand. The only thing I notice a big change in between then and now is the fact parents don't act like parents anymore. They don't raise there kids, they are to busy doing whatever else. It scares me sending my son to school but I don't have a choice. Single parent, can't homeschool. No, I don't remember it being like this when we were kids. We were worried about fires and tornadoes. The gangs faught with their fists but never thought of knives or guns getting involved. It is sad that kids are now shooting eachother and stabbing eachother over such things. Parents need to step in and become responsible.
27 March 2009 at 20:05
also very true...so many of my friends/aquaintances actually think of their kids as ther friends/mates (act like teenagers at times too) i am straight with my kids, I'm not here to be their friend, not like that, my job is to raise responsible adults. going to work and supporting a child isn't where the problem lies (that teaches them about responsibility)...its back down to respect, boundaries...rules...
27 March 2009 at 23:12
I'm not sure what scares me more. The knives or the guns. It's a scary world out there. Oh, I sooo wish it was different...
28 March 2009 at 00:15
It's crazy to think how different things are for our kids nowadays. I like to believe children are sent to earth strong enough to handle what they will have to encounter here. But dang it! It's still scary!
29 March 2009 at 02:58
I live in the metro Atlanta (GA) area... and I do remember some REALLY bad kids having knives in their lockers, but it was isolated. Now it seems the big issue, at least in the U.S. is GUNS. And I have a BIG PROBLEM with the gun culture in our country (don't worry, I won't get on my soapbox here.... but suffice it to say, the gun lobby and the NRA have held the politicians hostage - almost literally - for FAR too long now. And the price we have paid for that is situations like Columbine.)
ANYWAY, it is frightening. I pray for my children every single morning as they walk to the bus stop (2 houses away) that God will bless and protect them. It is something I think about, but try not to worry about.
But I do not believe the violence was like this (at all) when we were children.
29 March 2009 at 15:25
That is crazy! I remember being no more than 6 or 7 and riding my bike into town, 2 miles from my house, by myself to get penny candy from the store. I'd NEVER let my kids do that! It is so scary.