Saturday, 14 March 2009

This is brilliant....

IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.

I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you'd be happy about it.'

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3 comments: to “ IRS

  • Cozyflier
    14 March 2009 at 16:12  

    Sally, great story. You always bring a smile to my face. Carrie

  • Niksmom
    15 March 2009 at 00:15  

    s made me laugh very, very hard! I've shared it with several friends!

  • My name is Erin.
    15 March 2009 at 16:53  

    Hi, Sally. This might be a bit of a lengthy comment. First, I just watched the video of you with your daughter and Trojan about Robyn's dyslexia. It was really very inspiring. She is such a well-spoken young lady and you can see that she is very bright. My daughter, she will be four this summer, is autistic. She is very high functioning and she is learning so much each day. It's really wonderful to watch her grow and learn. I'm so blessed to be her mom.

    I've enjoyed reading your blog for a while now. You're very inspiring to those of us moms who sometimes get bogged down in the details when life seems to hand you one challenge after another. Thanks for sharing your stories and your sense of humor with us.

    Lastly, I've tried commenting on a few of Trojan's new posts on his blog, but for some reason, I've not been able to. I wonder if it has something to do with his new layout? If you wouldn't mind passing that message along. Thanks so much and I look forward to reading more from you in the future. :)

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