Sally's World

Paris 2008

Florida 2003

2005

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.


Bonus Commandment ( Story )

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
.
.
.
.
.

"It really works!"

SMILE, IT'S TAX FREE!

Yep, just like Cinderella...the princess gets angry with prince charming, a screaming match ensues...he then slaps her about a bit...gets arrested...is waiting to face the charges, proposes to the princess...she, of course gushingly says yes, they get married, have babies and live happily ever after!!!

NO???

No, thats not how I remember it either...the rumours flying around about these two having a baby together is quite frankly a little frightening...bringing babies into violent relationships is NOT a good idea...

But all is not lost, there are rumours of them both going to Barbados to meet her parents and possibly anounce the pregnancy...so if Rihannas dad is anything like mine, he'll take him to one side and give him a taste of his own medicine...while not condoning violence, I think its importnat that Chris Brown gets to show off his boxing skills on an actual man...

Oh look kids, heres a lovely picture of mummy just after daddy beat her...he isn't in the photo kids, cos he was arrested, but you can see how happy we are...

Rihanna, who was recently attacked and beaten by Chris Brown recently reunited with her boyfriend at one of Sean Combs’ homes.

Chris Brown, who is facing criminal charges for the alleged attack, reportedly proposed to Rihanna in Florida, and she accepted his proposal.

The report stated that Chris Brown arranged a quick ceremony on Combs’ Star Island estate, where they were secretly married.

“All she’s ever wanted was to be with him forever. Rihanna is looking for the husband-and-two kids deal before she turns 25. She believes in fairytales, and she wants to live hers with Chris. She was totally up front and confessed to him, ‘I can’t live without you,” Contact music quoted an insider as saying.

The couple was later spotted again disembarking a jet in L.A., where Brown will face charges relating to the alleged attack.

The couple’s relationship had already been rocky, and Rihanna was scared Chris might dump her hearing she was possibly pregnant.

“She was scared he would react badly,” says an insider.

I Showed this to my husband and he said it was totally ridiculous, he laughed and said it was obviously drawn by a woman without a clue to how a mans brain really works.
"Oh?" I said.
"Yep," he said, "trust me, our attention span area isn't that big!"

I married a comedian!

When you look at me what do you see,
A woman, a wife, a mum of four, now a mum of three?
When you look at me what do you see,
A person full of possibility?

When you look me what do you see,
Someone kind, loving, carefree?
When you look at me what do you see,
The inspiration to my children I need to be?

When you look at me what do you see,
Someone who wonders how good she can be?
When you look at me what do you see,
The loving daughter, sister, auntie, friend in me?

When you look at me what do you see,
The writer, the author I aspire to be?
When you look at me what do you see,
Honesty, kindness, generosity?

Of course not, not at all, that’s not what you see,
Tattoos, a black husband, a piercing or three.
A stereotype is what you see,
Of the person who you think is me!

Sally-Anne Stephenson

I love my husband Dave to bits, he works hard, doing a job that would quite frankly drive me to suicide…but no-one could ever accuse him of being exactly helpful around the house. He had a day off work yesterday, so he decided he was going to have a nice quiet day indoors relaxing with me….

Really??? Is that what he thinks I do???

So after I got the kids up and ready for school, sorted Deion out, did the school run, flew round the supermarket, got back, put the shopping away, put the first lot of washing on, answered some e-mails, did my tax returns…I put the kettle on, and almost, almost got my backside in the chair, the phone rang…it was Deion’s physio to arrange an appointment, so I got the calendar, sorted that out, then it was lunch time, so I made lunch, I almost got to eat it, but there was a knock on the door, a package…Deion’s pads….the wrong size, so I got on the phone and sorted that out, then I put the kettle on to reboil because it had gone cold….I ate my cold lunch standing up while I washed up, I hoovered, I made the tea, went to sit down, but nope…too late, time to get the kids from school, so off I went. Deion had a doctors appointment, so I went there, saw the doctor drove to the chemist, filled the prescription and came home, then as my children stampeded through the house, I picked up various coats, shoes and backpacks, cleaned up the mud that Deion’s wheelchair bought in, got the dinner on and put the kettle back on.

“Blimey,” said Dave, “you wear me out just watching you.”

And, what’s funny is that was the quiet bit of the day.

Its only after he said it, that I thought, maybe it should have occurred to Dave to do some of the chores too, I still had to help the kids with their homework, make dinner, do Deion’s exercises, clear up, bath Deion and get them all to bed…

Of course, Dave is normally coming in from work once the kids are all bathed and in their pyjamas ready for bed, the house is tidied, the dinners done. I know he knows its busy, he’s not silly, but it makes me laugh a little, maybe he thinks the elves come in while I relax on the sofa with a box of chocolates and a cup of tea and it all gets magically done.

So then the kids are in bed, he had a soak in the bath, he came downstairs in a relaxed state and asked me if I felt like watching a film, or if I remembered to pick up his dry cleaning, and I valiantly resisted the urge to scream “for crying out loud, I haven’t had time to use the bathroom, I want to sleep, not watch a film, I want to slip into a coma and stay there until I have to be up in six hours time and do it all over again.”

After I wrote about Dave yesterday, a few people e-mailed and asked me if I thought that Dave being black and me being white created problems with regards to marriage, family and parenting.

I guess we did meet with a lot of prejudice when we were first together. Still do on some level, but society as a whole is far less concerned with mixed race relationships now I think.

I used to get stereotyped A LOT…… When I was pregnant with our third child, I was at an antenatal appointment with my eldest 2, the midwife asked me if all the children were by the same father, and when I replied in the affirmative she said “oh, well done,” as if it was shocking. I resisted the urge to batter her with the baby heart monitor and said nothing.

I guess there are always going to be issues with any mixed race or religion relationship. But if it’s right, it’s worth the fight. And you really need to not care what other people think. All married couples have differences; the racial ones are just more obvious to the naked eye. No, I don’t know what it was like to experience racism on a daily basis while growing up, but on the same note, Dave has no idea what it was like to be a girl growing up. He’s not experienced sexism in any way either. So we are all different, there are always things that we cannot of experienced in the same way our partner did. But that’s one of the things that makes a relationship interesting.

I for one do not want a husband who is exactly the same as me (we’d kill each other within the week!) And I believe that children of a mixed parentage have the best of both worlds, mine do because they can be enriched in both mine and their dad’s cultures. As long as we have the same values, as long as we want the same things for our children, as long as we love each other…that’s what counts. I guess we’ll just work the rest out as we go along; it’s worked for us so far.

We fall in love with a persons heart and soul, not their skin colour.

And no, don’t worry, two people asked, but I promise I was not offended in any way, if you want to know anything about me, I will answer as openly and honestly as I can (within reason) and after all, its only my opinion, and what I believe. Although it may be different to what anyone else thinks, I am more than happy to share my thoughts with you.

Take care

Sal xxx

Today, I’m going to introduce you to my husband David.

Dave and I met over 20 years ago now, I was working behind the bar in a nightclub as a second job, and he was raving in the worst pair of shorts I’ve ever seen in my life…in his defence though…it was the eighties.

The kids still tease Dave for being stuck in the eighties because he recently bought roller skates in stead of roller blades…and Dave wasn’t too amused when the guy in the shop suggested some matching leg warmers, even though the kids thought it was hilarious.

Dave is laid back compared to my hyper. If we were both as frantic as me, the kids would probably be nervous wrecks. I joke about Dave being so laid back he’s horizontal, and I do on occasion have to check for a pulse…This however does not mean that Dave is not a high achiever. He worked in a job he was unhappy in for years as he’d never realised his dream of becoming a barrister. But when Aaron was busy fighting every day literally for survival, Dave realised he needed to settle less, and do more towards his own dreams. So he went to law school as an external student and got his law degree, and then his masters…all while doing a full time job. He had to give up work to sit the bar, then he got pupilage in a prestigious chambers in 2005.

So after eight years of hard work, Dave was called to the bar and became a fully fledged barrister. He now works in chambers and is a part time lecturer at a law school.

But that’s just a small part of who Dave is. Dave is an incredibly driven and strong person. While we were all falling apart after losing Aaron, he was the one who stood strong and held it all together. I’m not saying he didn’t...or doesn’t have his moments, but luckily they are only when I’m capable of being the strong one.

Dave is even more stubborn than me, even though he would never admit it in a million years. And he has a competitive streak that I have never seen matched. It doesn’t matter if its scrabble, football or a game of snakes and ladders, he the most unbearable winner and the worst loser…

Our children are our lives, and certainly our priority (when we’re not annihilating them at monopoly that is); we are trying to set good and strong examples for them and teach them that anything is achievable. So we work really hard, tell the kids that it’s important to achieve, and to get their education while it’s free!!! If we ever had to total the cost of Dave training late in life we’d probably slip into cardiac arrest!

If I had my choice, Dave and I would spend more quality time together. I know we had a recent weekend in Paris, the first time we’d been away together in 17 years. But in an ideal world, a few more hours to snuggle up on the sofa with a film and a glass of wine would be great.

Sal xxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone, sorry I've neglected the blogs over the last couple of days ... I've been poorly in bed since Sunday night, caught some sort of weird virus and thought my head exploding was a real possibility, and preferable to how I was feeling. Now of course it looks as if a tornado has occurred in every room in the house….but restoring order can wait, still feeling to fragile to tackle it…

I guess even Wonder Woman gets ill, although the outfit would clash with the slight green tinge of my face today. Lets hope the postman doesn't need to knock, I've traumatised him enough lately.

I'm just glad that I didn't get ill until after Trojan and I did our video and radio blog on Sunday afternoon...it was alot of fun, and we're very pleased with the results, and hope lots of you tuned in and have had a listen since.

Right, I’m indoors today, but merely dosing on the sofa feeling sorry for myself, doing nothing more strenuous than lifting large quantities of chocolates to my mouth…need large supply of chocolates to regain the half stone I lost in the last 2 days.

So I'll be back as right as rain tomorrow (I hope) especially considering Deion has physio, hospital and O.T appointments. Oh joy!

Speak soon

Sal

I know from your comments that many of you are wondering how I have any time for myself or my marriage. Well, we just make time, not lots of it, its not always possible, but some.

Recently it was my husband, Dave's 40th birthday, and as much as he wanted to pretend it wasn't happening, (he still thinks he's 21! acts like it too mostly!!!)I wanted to mark the occasion in a special way, so I surprised him with a weekend in Paris.

It was a big step for both of us; for me because it was going to be the first time we were going away from the kids in 17 years, and for Dave because we weren't taking a lap top/playsation/widescreen TV/sky sports away with us.

Although I think he was glad to get away from the kids relentless teasing about zimmer frames, denture cream, hip replacements and the amount of grey hairs he was suddenly sprouting. They are ruthless...especially Deion! Deion offered to lend him his wheelchair for the trip, and then took it back as Daddy's middle age spread would mean he'd probably get stuck in it and need to have it surgically removed. Nice!

It was the first time either of us had ever been to Paris, and it was wonderful. We spent some quality time together concentrating on us. It was nice to not have to think about someone else for a change, and great to have someone cook for me instead of the other way round. Of course, after about 12 hours I was missing the kids, and when I rang them to say goodnight, you'd think we'd been away for a month.

But it was a way of recharging our batteries and concentrating on each other for a change. I know its not possible for everyone to do, and I know whole weekends will be few and far between. But it made me realise that we need some time on a regular basis.

After all, I'm not just a Mum, I'm a woman and a wife too. Its easy to forget that when I'm up to my eyeballs in a six loads of washing, school runs, hospital appointments and fixing the brakes on Deions wheelchair!!!

Speak to you soon

Sal x