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The 10 Commandments of Marriage
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.
Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Bonus Commandment ( Story )
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
.
.
.
.
.
"It really works!"
SMILE, IT'S TAX FREE!
10 May 2009 at 09:38
And that's why I'm not married... ; )
Loved the 4th and 5th Commandments!
10 May 2009 at 12:12
#5 is my favorite. I am teaching my boys to hold open doors. Oh...and I decided that this summer they are learning how to clean and cook a little more
10 May 2009 at 12:53
These were funny, but I am really glad my marriage isn't like this...well for the most part. My hubby and I will celebrate #44 this June, but as we like to tell people, it will be #88...44 for him and 44 for me!
I loved the cartoons!
10 May 2009 at 14:14
this is a cute one. we will be celebrating #18 in 6 days. some days it feels like 1/2 that, and some days it feels like twice that!
10 May 2009 at 15:45
LOL, yep, a good marriage, hard to tell if its heaven or a life sentence!!!
10 May 2009 at 17:36
LOL! I love number 4! This is too funny! Happy Mothers Day!
10 May 2009 at 18:51
This was funny, and oh so true!
They say that bigamy is having one wife too many. I say that monogamy is too.
10 May 2009 at 19:50
Tom, you just made my husband laugh out loud...he'll be using that line for ever now...thanks...sigh !!!!!
10 May 2009 at 21:56
Sally, these are cute! Gave me a laugh.
Hope your Mother's Day is well.
11 May 2009 at 03:57
I love your commandments!
I have words I now live by: If a woman steals your husband, the best revenge is to let her keep him.
11 May 2009 at 14:38
I know that I'll probably eat my words later since I'm a newlyw4ed and all, but I don't find truth in any of these things....*shrugs*
11 May 2009 at 17:13
dear dear riley....give it time!!! lol!! actually as funny as they are, they are only moments, after 21 years we are still very much in love, my parents have been together for over 45 and adore each other, as did my grandparents, so as much as we tease, it can work...
11 May 2009 at 18:13
Hahaha! Oh I tried to pick out my favorite but I just can't. They are all so hilariously true!
Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day!