So I guess the Universe thinks I don’t have enough to deal with…  

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

I was in two minds whether to blog about this or not, part of me doesn’t want to say it out loud in case it makes it a real thing to worry about, the other half of me wants to talk about it, to reassure myself of a good outcome…

So here goes…

I found a lump in my breast a while ago, a doctors app, a mammogram later, it was deemed a cyst…no worries, had a couple more, all cysts…so when I found another one, I simply thought it would be same rigmarole…but the doctor looked different when she felt this one, also when she was examining my right boob it leaked, and she wasn’t happy about that either (sorry if this falls into the ‘too much information’ category here) the mammogram was quicker and now I have been referred to the cancer unit for further tests next week…so now I feel a bit panicky…she told me not to worry, it sounds worse because of the word cancer, it does not mean its cancer, they just want to be sure blah blah blah…

There is the logical part of me saying ‘don’t worry about it until you have something to worry about.’ I’m repeating positive thoughts over and over in my mind like a mantra…but there’s that tiny little voice chipping in every now and then saying ‘oh $h!t’ and other unrepeatable things!

Surely we’ve been thrown enough curve balls, my kids have had enough to deal with…I don’t think life can be that unfair to them…it can’t be anything serious...it just can’t! This is just procedure surely, they are being extra careful to make sure!!! YES????

Besides…I haven’t got time to be ill, and I certainly have way too much to achieve and to do to be going anywhere…so there, take that universe, in your face…I’m here to stay…now, if only I can keep the positivity, convince myself….

Actually talking it through helps…

Whatever the outcome, I shall be checking religiously, and nagging my friends and family members to do the same.

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27 comments: to “ So I guess the Universe thinks I don’t have enough to deal with…

  • J.J. in L.A.
    5 May 2009 at 10:04  

    I hope it's nothing(!) but if it happens to be something, it sounds like it's early enough to take care of it. I'm keeping you in my thoughts (prayers)!

  • Lisa
    5 May 2009 at 10:14  

    sending love and the word 'benign' in your direction..........bottom line is though Sally, that what ever it tuns out to be, you will handle it- you will.......blessed be dear angel, in my prayers xx

  • ~Thought's By Dena~
    5 May 2009 at 12:15  

    Big HUGZ are being sent your way...remember that no matter what its EXTREMELY important to remain positive ALWAYS...even when its so hard to...Ive dealt with this with my mom so I know how important being positive is even when it feels like everything around you is being negative.

  • the "mom"
    5 May 2009 at 12:58  

    Sending you love and support through the blogging world. I am sure that it will be fine but know that you have lots of support out there.

  • Cammie
    5 May 2009 at 13:39  

    lots of hugs and good thoughts heading your way

  • Mental P Mama
    5 May 2009 at 13:39  

    Putting my best wishes out to the Universe for you. I just had that scare in January. I hope you have the same good outcome.

  • Joanie M
    5 May 2009 at 14:06  

    Good luck, Sally! I hope it turns out to be benign. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Trojan Gayle
    5 May 2009 at 14:21  

    well the main thing is that you have seen a doctor and that you are doing sonthing about it. Many women and men act to late which can mean they end up as another statistic.

    Hopefully this post will serve as a reminded to look after your health as many people depend on you. Life is short folks look after yourself!

  • vgsmom
    5 May 2009 at 14:23  

    A friend had to go through chemo recently her sentiments were "That her God was bigger than the cancer, but she just didn't have time for the whole thing." just remember God is bigger than the cancer.

  • RileyScott
    5 May 2009 at 15:45  

    Trojan's right Sal...at least you caught it early.

    My mom never goes to the doctor...


    Here's sending positive thoughts your way. GO BENIGN!

  • Randi Troxell
    5 May 2009 at 15:45  

    oh im sorry you have to go through this... and you will be in my thoughts and prayers..

  • Sally's World
    5 May 2009 at 16:04  

    you are all so great thank you,i'm so glad i voiced my fears now, its something i am unable to say to many freinds or family members as they will automatically panic and then i would feel guilty about worrying everyone (past experience talking here).

    it is early...this is so true, and positivity is the key here I think, i can always manage it for everyone else...i need a kick up the butt to do so for myself...

    thanks for the support, i am very lucky to know you all!

  • Elaine at Matters of the Heart)
    5 May 2009 at 16:43  

    I will be praying for you Sally. I went through this scare a year ago. It turned out fine, it is so good that you are following up. When I went in to have my biopsy they could not find the lump. So what looked like a solid mass on ultrasound and mri had disappeared. Either it was originally a cyst or divine intervention took over.

    Keep us posted.

  • Cherie
    5 May 2009 at 17:22  

    I had a serious lump in my breast when I was in my early 20's and have been a Mammogram advocate ever since.
    Chances are it is just a lump that they can take out - better to be safe than sorry! I got mine taken out while I was awake with a local because I was 5 months pregnant.
    It wasn't bad.

    I hope you find out good news (crossing fingers!). Stay positive! Rooting for you :D

  • Dragon
    5 May 2009 at 18:10  

    I understand, it is a scary thought and I defaintly hope the best for you. I get them ever so often (cysts) and understand the worries. My mom has them to and they are all benign. Basically, it ends up being ok and she just gets regular checkups. Positive energy being sent to you ;-)

  • Our Family
    5 May 2009 at 19:23  

    You are in my prayers Sally. Leave it at Gods feet and don't worry on it.

  • C.M. Jackson
    5 May 2009 at 19:45  

    sally--

    I am thinking about you, sending you calming thoughts and positive energy.

  • Missy
    5 May 2009 at 22:32  

    I will be praying for you and your family! Try not to worry and I know that is a lot easier said than done, but for your kids sake, try not to worry! Your right! The universe will not throw another strike! WE will pray you through this!

  • Candance
    6 May 2009 at 05:29  

    Oh no. I am so crossing my fingers it's benign. Right now. They're crossed and I'm going to sleep like this-just for you and your kiddos!

  • Anonymous
    6 May 2009 at 07:14  

    Dearest,dearest Sal,

    Well, you really are determined to get the most out of the health service my friend!!Now come on girl , POSITIVETY to the fore,you found something ,you did something about it and hey, the governments target setting is working in your favour.! I know they have extremely strict targets re the length of time you are referred etc otherwise they get their hands slapped and funding taken away .So this isn't because you are particularly ill etc its a target meeting manouevre my friend ( all in your favour too!)

    You are simply just a lumpy, bumpy person like myself.I have had two lumps taken out,one when I was 24 weeks pregnant with Ben!!!Under a general anaesthetic too!Yes, its very scary,but times have moved on,you don't have to wait long until you know the results of tests,and you will be fine!! I am sure it is just a lumpy bumpy once again! You have a history of cysts ,like myself ,so hey girl you and I just corner the market in that department, so come on in and join the club! Ok the nipple leaked ,well cysts leak and the doctor may well have caused it to do just that by examining you!

    Having said all the above I know you will be worried ,but try not to be as so,so many people are referred and are fine ,so don't waste your energy trying to control and problem solve now ,just get out there and buy a huge chocolate cake and tell everyone it is ALL for you as you are a bit stressed( this bit Aaron would really be proud of you manipulating the situation to eat ALL of it yourself!)So go girl go to the nearest cake shop!!!

    Big hugs and oodles of love Wendy xxxxxx

    Love you loads !

  • michelle
    6 May 2009 at 08:01  

    I will be thinking and praying.....it is easy for us to say try to stay calm, it is probably nothing.....which I am sure it is....but whatever the outcome remember how much we love you and support you....

    m:)

  • ~Tom~
    6 May 2009 at 14:40  

    My wife has had 2 breast cancer surgeries and a few more scares. the waiting for the answers is one of the hardest parts. Once you have an answer you are either relieved or planning on strategies to deal with it.

    My prayers are with you and your family!

  • Heather
    6 May 2009 at 14:47  

    Oh, honey. I somehow missed this yesterday. Try to stay positive until you know for sure. I'm praying that it turns out to be nothing. Please keep us updated and know that we're all thinking of you. And no matter what, we know you're strong enough to handle whatever is thrown your way. :)

  • Niksmom
    6 May 2009 at 21:39  

    Oh, my fingers and toes are crossed for good news.

  • Cozyflier
    7 May 2009 at 03:17  

    Sally, So SORRY, I'm behind in reading. I'll be praying for you and sending good Karma across the Web and skies.

    I know it has been said by everyone else, but catching things early and having tests done DOES make the difference.

    One of our patients came in for a migraine, Kev noticed her clubbing fingers, sent her for a chest X-ray and diagnosed Lung CA sooo early the Drs. didn't know how to treat it!!!!

    There are all sorts of funny cysts and and benign lumps. Keep up that positive attitude.

    XOXO

  • The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom
    8 May 2009 at 06:22  

    Sal!!! Crap! Crap! Crap! I am sending positive, benign, healing, loving thoughts your way! You are such a positive force in the world that I know that positive force field is going to keep you healthy.
    Love, love, love your way and prayers...so many.
    Love and best, Rose

    p.s. I've been away too long. I demand that you give me good news immediately!! :)

  • SmartAssMom
    11 May 2009 at 17:12  

    Thinking TONS of good thoughts for you!!

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