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Blogging against disablism day
Friday, 1 May 2009
Seeing as we are blogging against disablism today, I will share something that makes me laugh a lot…although you may not agree.
Now I am sick of people looking at me like I am the cruellest mother on the planet if I tell Deion off. Deion may be a wheelchair user, but my goodness, he has a cheeky streak equal to none…and as I believe in equality, I believe I should treat him just as badly as I treat my other children….I’m JOKING!! Of course I’m joking, but if Deion does something wrong, he’s going to get told off just like Jordan or Robyn would. If we are in a shop and he asks for something, I get looked at like I’m evil if I say ‘no’…if I have to tell hi to hurry up, its even worse… but for goodness sake, he’s in a turbo charged wheelchair, why should he need to dawdle, and if I tell him off for running into me or not looking where he’s going, people have actually threatened to call social services…
Aaron too, no special treatment form me I’m afraid…telling him off got me even worse looks, because he looked more limited and couldn’t talk…but he still bloody well knew when he was being naughty.
One day he saw the van but turned the other way (to run away as it were) cos he was sulking with me. I raised my voice and told him to come back, but he ignored me, so I ran after him, stood in front of him and told him to go to the car and stop being so stroppy, he threw me a dirty look and reluctantly turned towards the car.
Two ladies happened to be walking past and muttered what a cruel woman I was for telling the ‘poor little thing’ off….okay…’poor little thing!’ don’t make me laugh. I had to respond, because it is this kind of ignorance, this false sympathy that drives us mad. So I yelled “oh, so just because he’s in a wheelchair, you don’t think he knows how to be naughty?”
Of course, Aaron was laughing by now…he loved a good row…
I went on to explain how ignorant her attitude was, and how she should not presume that disability equals stupidity, how dare she suggest my child does not have the intelligence to be naughty….of course he did, he got up to mischief all the time…ask some of his friends and teachers!!!
It’s as important for Deion to grow up, not expecting to get his own way, as it is all children. What kind of mum would I be if I spoilt him rotten. It’s not that I like him being in a wheelchair, but the easy thing would be to give him is won way, and I’m not in it for the easy life, I am raising three children into strong, independent self sufficient adults.
Deion is keen not to be treated differently form everyone else, if someone goes to give in because of the wheelchair he’ll tell them straight…”it’s okay, I’m not going to play the disability card!” he is perfectly comfortable with his disability, and its important that everyone else is too…that’s how we stop the negative attitude…
Acceptance, embracing, education!!!!
1 May 2009 at 09:38
I was a good girl (in front of the parents) but I was raised not to expect to get away with something just because I have a disability. That's raising a spoiled child to become a spoiled adult.
1 May 2009 at 13:59
That is exactly the right way to be. People with disabilities fight to be treated equally all the time. Your actions did just that. Kudos!
1 May 2009 at 14:48
I'm with you, girl.
I know how it can be .. like the kind of look where we ought to be locked up in somekind of mental institutions for not being the perfect role model mom that only you can see in movies after like 250 takes for one perfect shot..
you're doing great.
Your children will love you for that disipline becos they know YOU LOVE THEM becos they are your world.
They know.
1 May 2009 at 15:02
Here Here Sally
1 May 2009 at 15:05
oh sally! we were on the same page with this one, huh???
i think aaron was probably very pleased that you had turned your anger towards those stupid women and distracted you (momentarily) from his naughtiness!
it's interesting how people don't see how extra special treatment is just as damaging, if not more so, than bad treatment. uh, here's a thought... how about EQUAL treatment!!!!
great post, my friend!
1 May 2009 at 15:07
Your posts remind me to think before I react. I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes, and respond accordingly. Thanks for reminding me today.
1 May 2009 at 15:55
i completly agree... though somewhat different situation i was born with a severe cleft lip and pallet and my parents NEVER once treated me any different from my brother or sister. i got into trouble the same, done the same chores... all of it! so to me... your a great mom!
1 May 2009 at 17:07
While I have no direct experience with people with disabilities, I would only assume that this would be a given. Everyone needs disipline if they are ever going to be sucessful in life and grow up.
I admire you for all theat you have to go through and all the ignorance you have to deal with. You are one wonderful momma!
1 May 2009 at 17:15
from these lovely comments, I am again reminded of how great all my blog friends are, if the world was full of more people like you guys...there would be no issues...
And Deb OMG, I've just realised after all this time...no wonder Aaron laughed, he got away with misbehaving...I can actually hear him laughing in my mind as I type this...cheeky!!
1 May 2009 at 18:36
This is a great posting and should make people reflect on their action when they people like yourself disciplining their children. Have you given that look? Be honest and let us know!
1 May 2009 at 19:17
what look is that Trojan???..as you know, I have 2...the 'mummy look'...or the 'disrespect my child again and your going to die' look. LOL...you know me too well!!!
1 May 2009 at 20:04
You are doing a great job! You know what your child needs more than anyone! Don't allow complete strangers to make you feel inadequate as a parent!
1 May 2009 at 22:40
I agree. When you discipline your kids, you are teaching them right from wrong. And you should be teaching a kid in a wheel chair the same? He is no different then anyone else. So if he goes up to a person and swears at them and hits them for no reason, that person should be ok with it because he is in a wheel chair. Hell no!! He should be taught proper like everyone else. To be a good person.
1 May 2009 at 23:01
Good on you! Great post! I love that you are raising your son to be self sufficient, independent, and strong! I love that you told those 2 women off. I agree with you whole heartedly.
1 May 2009 at 23:51
Amen sister! Sounds like you've had to learn the hard way to not worry what the world might think of you based on an ignorant observation. It takes a strong-minded person to get that. Your kids (all of them!) are incredibly lucky they have you on their side.
btw... sorry to hear you've been sick. Been a couple of days since I've been by and look what I'm missing! Hope you're feeling better.
TGIF, and enjoy your weekend.
Oh yeah... Jon Bon Jovi is HAWT!
2 May 2009 at 01:35
Good for you, Sally!
2 May 2009 at 02:54
Who cares what other people think...you know in your heart your son will grow into a strong independent young man. I remember Riley screaming at the grocery that I wasn't her mom and people were staring like I was kidnapping her, all because I wouldn't get her a certain kind of cereal. When people started looking I said trust me I wouldn't pick this kid if I was kidnapping I would take a kind, loving, greatful child...nope this one is mine truley. Ha! People stare for all the wrong reasons and miss the boat when something really needs attention.
2 May 2009 at 02:56
P.S. how are you feeling?? Better I hope:)
2 May 2009 at 09:45
oh, i'm on the mend thanks, no headache or sickness....just totally shattered...no energy, so i'm ignoring the housework!!!
thanks again for the comments...i love that you guys 'get me'!!!