Mixed Parenting  

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

After I wrote about Dave yesterday, a few people e-mailed and asked me if I thought that Dave being black and me being white created problems with regards to marriage, family and parenting.

I guess we did meet with a lot of prejudice when we were first together. Still do on some level, but society as a whole is far less concerned with mixed race relationships now I think.

I used to get stereotyped A LOT…… When I was pregnant with our third child, I was at an antenatal appointment with my eldest 2, the midwife asked me if all the children were by the same father, and when I replied in the affirmative she said “oh, well done,” as if it was shocking. I resisted the urge to batter her with the baby heart monitor and said nothing.

I guess there are always going to be issues with any mixed race or religion relationship. But if it’s right, it’s worth the fight. And you really need to not care what other people think. All married couples have differences; the racial ones are just more obvious to the naked eye. No, I don’t know what it was like to experience racism on a daily basis while growing up, but on the same note, Dave has no idea what it was like to be a girl growing up. He’s not experienced sexism in any way either. So we are all different, there are always things that we cannot of experienced in the same way our partner did. But that’s one of the things that makes a relationship interesting.

I for one do not want a husband who is exactly the same as me (we’d kill each other within the week!) And I believe that children of a mixed parentage have the best of both worlds, mine do because they can be enriched in both mine and their dad’s cultures. As long as we have the same values, as long as we want the same things for our children, as long as we love each other…that’s what counts. I guess we’ll just work the rest out as we go along; it’s worked for us so far.

We fall in love with a persons heart and soul, not their skin colour.

And no, don’t worry, two people asked, but I promise I was not offended in any way, if you want to know anything about me, I will answer as openly and honestly as I can (within reason) and after all, its only my opinion, and what I believe. Although it may be different to what anyone else thinks, I am more than happy to share my thoughts with you.

Take care

Sal xxx

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