Friday, 26 June 2009

I’ve noticed that there is a trend in the e-mails I’m receiving from some of the mums who are following the blogs. That is that many seem to be angry that it is their child who was born with a disability. While I totally understand it, and know it is a perfectly natural reaction to finding out your child has special needs, you cannot allow it to affect your lives.

You have been given the most amazing opportunity. You get to take care of a most precious child, an extra special child. You need to feel blessed and grateful for that. Whilst it is a very different life than many parents and families will experience, it is incredibly rewarding and fulfilling as long as you embrace it wholeheartedly.

So by all means get angry, but direct it at the right people (which definitely is not yourself as some mums feel). My anger is not at having children with disabilities, it is at the system that makes getting my kids what they need so hard. So that anger can be productive, it is the fight and determination that means you will achieve what you need to for yourself and your child.

You cannot let the anger get to you, because it will affect the life you have with your child. If anger is the focus, fun and laughter won’t be, not all the time. And what matters, especially to kids, is fun and laughter. Live life, make it fun, make it count and make sure there are no regrets and ‘should haves’ when you look back.

Of course, you may not see it that same way as I do, not everyone has my views and ways of coping, and I respect that. So please, please feel free to comment and give me your opinion. Also, if I can give you any advice on the practical issues surrounding disability, then you just need to ask, if I can’t help, I bet I know someone who can.

So, word for the day…Gratitude!

Sal xx

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8 comments: to “ Gratitude

  • ~Tom~
    26 June 2009 at 13:57  

    Very well said!

  • Randi Troxell
    26 June 2009 at 15:46  

    im with tom... very well said and what a wise wise woman you are... happy friday!

  • Anonymous
    26 June 2009 at 18:34  

    My aunt is slow. She can't do everything an adult does, reading, math, some cooking, and she couldn't live on her own without some assitants on bills and what needs to be done. My grandma adopted her knowing this. She raised her and took care of her along with my mom and uncle. She never took things as a way of holding her back but as a blessing. She would always fight against a struggle instead of letting it get to her. My mom and I have tried looking at life like this. I don't know what it is like to have a child with a disablity but I am sure as in any life struggle or differences in way of life, if you hold strong enough and live life to fullest, anything is possible. I hope that made sense ;-)

  • Sally's World
    26 June 2009 at 20:16  

    yes Dragon, it made sense and is absolutely the truth, i get the strength from my kids. Life is certainly full.

    thanks Tom and Randi, it means alot.

  • J.J. in L.A.
    27 June 2009 at 00:05  

    Being the child, I'd say the best thing for a mom to do is 'relax'.

    I'm no different than my other 6 siblings...except that, sometimes, I need a little extra attention.

    I'm pretty independent but, right now, I have a pressure sore on the bottom of my foot. She helps me when she needs to, but she's not hovering over me. That would drive us BOTH nuts! : )

  • C.M. Jackson
    27 June 2009 at 07:01  


    your wisdom and energy is an inspiration for us all-c

  • Sally's World
    27 June 2009 at 08:38  

    J.J. i hope you realise that your insight is so valuable to me, to hear it from the side of the child is so helpful. as the mum, its hard to know if you're getting it right, and as i never had to deal with any of the things my boys do, its hard to get the balance.

    i hope i do the job as well as your mum obviously did and deion has some of your outlook and attitude. i would be very proud.

    C- thank you xxxx

  • Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short)
    28 June 2009 at 04:01  

    Sally, your post brought tears to my eyes. You've got an amazing spirit. We all can learn so much from you...

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