another mammogram joke hee hee!
Thursday, 18 June 2009
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry.
By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the examand doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for thetest and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in andaround your home.
EXERCISE ONE:Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
NOW YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
18 June 2009 at 15:14
Sigh.
18 June 2009 at 15:28
ha! too funny...
18 June 2009 at 16:18
Not just too funny, but too true too! Did I use too many too's?
18 June 2009 at 18:03
Ow! It hurt just reading that.
18 June 2009 at 18:47
I must be a weirdo...they are just uncomfortable to me...pulling those sticky things off my nipples hurts more! I know weird.
18 June 2009 at 20:30
Let's just say that I am happy they don't look for testicular cancer the same way.
18 June 2009 at 21:03
It really is the saddest, truest, and, thankfully, funniest thing....
18 June 2009 at 22:38
LOL OMG Painful!!
19 June 2009 at 03:20
Oh gosh. The things I have to look forward to!
19 June 2009 at 06:16
Thanks for the much needed laugh and the reminder that I'm long overdue.