Sally's World

The sad loss of David Cameron’s six year old son Ivan has been all over the news and papers since he passed away on Wednesday morning. When I hear something like this I just feel sick, panicky almost. And I guess it’s just because I know what the family has to go through.

Before Aaron passed away, I was always saddened on hearing of someone passing, especially when that person was a child, but I know I didn’t feel it as deeply as I do now.

When Aaron passed away, we were touched, and even surprised by the amount of support we had, and support from strangers too, friends of friends, or people we hardly knew. So many people who had also experienced losing a child were offering their support. It moved us beyond words.

It all makes sense to me now. As a parent who has lost a child, I feel the pain of parents like David and Samantha Cameron. I want to reach out and say something to ease their pain, which is even more bizarre in a way, because, I know for a fact that nothing anyone says at the moment will ease that pain.

I guess all I know is, that although losing a child is the hardest thing they will ever have to go through in their entire lives, it is something they can survive, even though it may not seem like it now. And no, time will not heal, but it will bring them acceptance. They have to accept that their lives will be different, and that their time with their son no less precious just because he is not physically with them now.

I know their will be some feelings of guilt at whether they did enough, gave their son a happy enough life, some anger at the loss, anger that everything else, and everyone else seems to be carrying on a normal life, and certainly some numbness at times, because I think that’s how the body copes, you can’t possibly feel it all at once, because your heart and mind could never take it.

They are now also realising that their loss is a very physical pain, that is something I never knew before, I never knew that the pain in your heart is real, tangible, I always imagined that it was an emotional pain only.

What they will learn with time though, is that their lives have to carry on and grow around the memory of their son. For a long time I felt that in letting go of all the grief and the anger, I was somehow letting go of Aaron. But I know that would be making him crazy as he watched me struggle with that. So all the love and memory, all the special stuff, is all there, life has just grown around it making it less of a focus for us all. I will miss Aaron every minute of every day, I will ache for him at times, I will cry and rant at times too. But I would never go back and change a minute; I can never regret the amazing adventure of our lives together. David, Samantha and their children too will realise this in time, and I hope they get there soon. But grief is not something you can time, or put conditions on, there are no rules, no rights and wrongs.

I have no regrets, and I'm sure Aaron is as proud of us as we are of him. I hope the Camerons' feel the same.

Sleep tight little angel, god bless!

OMG, this is terrible...but sooo funny!!!

A Joke to make you smile!

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.

He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am?"

The woman replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude"

"You must be a mathematician" said the Balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is probably technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it is my f**king fault."

In sticking with what seems to be a driving theme today, I thought I'd share this with you...

Most of the world's people think it improper to spank children.

The other day I was talking to one of my younger friends about methods used to discipline children.

We talked about "time outs", grounding, holding back "rewards" until the child displayed desired behaviour etc. One of the things we discussed was the act of spanking and my friend explained that no, he does not spank any of his children.

He explained that what he does is to take the misbehaving child out for a ride in the car. He said that this usually works and that the child calms down fairly quickly.

By removing the child, in this case his son, from the immediate situation and providing a change of scenery, the child is allowed to focus on something different. Once the child has the opportunity to change perspective, things get better quickly and the child has better understanding of his place within the family and begins to understand the family's concept of acceptable behaviour.

He kindly provided a picture of the process which I share with you now.....

Can you imagine being faced with this, with the dog breathing down your neck, the kids arguing in the back, the cell phone ringing, Nintendo Ds's and PSP's beeping, and your passenger giving helpful driving advice (or maybe that's just my husband!!!)

The road shown here is the Guoliang Tunnel in Taihang mountains (China). It has been built by villagers themselves, which is an inspiring story in itself:

"Before 1972, the path chiseled into the rock used to be the only access linking the village with the outside world. Then the villagers decided to dig a tunnel through the rocky cliff. Led by Shen Mingxin, head of the village, they sold goats and herbs to buy hammers and steel tools. Thirteen strong villagers began the project. It took them five years to finish the 1,200-metre-long tunnel which is about 5 meters high and 4 meters wide. Some of the villagers even gave their lives to it. On May 1, 1977, the tunnel was opened to traffic."

I’ve heard it all now, I already knew that there were many ignorant people out there, but this takes the biscuit.

On Cbeebies there is a new presenter, she’s a pretty girl, bubbly, good at her job, but dare I say it…she has a disability, she only has one hand. I have to say, I didn’t even notice at first, and I expect most kids didn’t…but parents actually started making complaints, hundreds of them flooded in apparently.

What a joke!

Some insensitive 'idiot' (for want of a better word) actually said… "Is it just me, or does anyone else think the new woman presenter on Cbeebies (Cerrie Burnell) may scare the kids because of her disability?

"I didn't want to let my children watch the filler bits on the bedtime hour last night because I know it would have played on my eldest daughter's mind and possibly caused sleep problems... and yes, this is a serious post."

Amazing! and sadly..no, it wasn't just him!

I truly cannot believe that so many people would discriminate so freely, perhaps if he was more sensitive, his kids would be too. Kids really don’t care about disabilities, until they are taught to do so, they may be curious, which is natural, but scared…I doubt it very much???

Other people accused the BBC of employing her to score points, actually accused the BBC of positive discrimination can someone explain this term to me please?

Cerrie Burnell rose above it, and even though she was said to be disappointed by the criticism she still welcomed the discussion…

"It can only be a good thing that parents are using me as a chance to talk disability with their children," she said.

"It just goes to show how important it is to have positive disabled role models on CBeebies and television in general."

Good for her.

This young lady has a child herself, is her child going to grow up frightened…NO! Because her child will be brought up in a household where differences make no difference to what a person can achieve.

To read the full report go to http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Disabled-CBeebies-TV-Presenter-Cerrie-Burnell-Accused-Of-Scaring-Children-After-Complaints/Article/200902415227818?lpos=UK_News_Third_UK_News_Article_Teaser_Region__0&lid=ARTICLE_15227818_Disabled_CBeebies_TV_Presenter_Cerrie_Burnell_Accused_Of_Scaring_Children_After_Complaints_

When you look at me what do you see,
A woman, a wife, a mum of four, now a mum of three?
When you look at me what do you see,
A person full of possibility?

When you look me what do you see,
Someone kind, loving, carefree?
When you look at me what do you see,
The inspiration to my children I need to be?

When you look at me what do you see,
Someone who wonders how good she can be?
When you look at me what do you see,
The loving daughter, sister, auntie, friend in me?

When you look at me what do you see,
The writer, the author I aspire to be?
When you look at me what do you see,
Honesty, kindness, generosity?

Of course not, not at all, that’s not what you see,
Tattoos, a black husband, a piercing or three.
A stereotype is what you see,
Of the person who you think is me!

Sally-Anne Stephenson

The Children's Society's Good Childhood Inquiry was being summarised in the papers recently with headlines like... "Selfish adults 'damage’ childhood".

The articles painted a very depressing picture of family life and society today. A picture of how ambitious, workaholic, materialistic, significance seeking parents were neglecting their children in favour of overtime and promotions at the office.

As a result these over worked parents are creating an exceptionally anxious generation of young people, whose measure of success is entirely bound up with material things.

And this distorted view is apparently being further compounded by the stresses of peer pressure and excessive testing at both primary and secondary school.

Click the link to find out more about the inquiry.

http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/all_about_us/how_we_do_it/the_good_childhood_inquiry/1818.html

At first it would be easy to judge and demand that parents get their priorities in order, it would be easy to tut to ourselves and say that parents should put their kids first. But perhaps, in the majority of cases, that’s exactly what working parents are doing.

I’m very lucky; I have a business I can run from home, so I can still be here for the kids, Dave works hard to provide, so I get to be here for the kids. But what if I was on my own, what then? And is Dave being selfish by working so hard?

Is it not important to set those examples of hard work and determination to our kids?

Is it not important that our kid’s schools do actually push them, test them and encourage them to strive to be better?

Yes, as a society I guess, we do have materialistic tendencies, but if we work hard, there is no harm in having nice things, it’s when it takes over your life that problems arise. Know what's truly important... definitely, prioritise...without a doubt!

I think in our family we get a good balance, we work hard, we expect the kids to work hard at their school work too, and they have some responsibility indoors.

But we also play hard, we have family days, we have holidays and make sure it isn’t all about TV, computer games and I-pods. We love family board games and all read a lot.

we make sure we have quality time, and the kids know they are our priority. Yes, I'm here all the time, and Dave works, but when he's here...we expect him to be here 100%!!!

I know that there are a number of parents who take it too far, who totally miss out on their kids growing up, who make work their life. But sometimes the coverage on inquiries like these generalise way too much and do nothing but confuse parents, and make them second guess all the decisions and life style choices they make (usually for the good of their children!!!)

Todays joke!

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up.

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own

xxxx

More like, Sally's World harasses/heckles/terrorises Trojans Corner!

As most of you know, Trojan (http://trojansgallery.blogspot.com/) is the one that got me into blogging. You probably also know that we do video blogging as well.

A while ago, Trojan put me on the spot and fired 20 questions at me, giving me no time to prepare and give suitable/sophisticated answers...it was very funny, but I really wanted to change my answers afterwards!!!

Well I got my own back, Trojan has now been put under the same pressure and truly appreciates the difficulties of coming up with decent answers so quickly.

I was as mean as he was, and wouldn't let him change his answers either, although we are still waiting for one answer Trojan. He was obviously worried about getting himself in trouble like I did !!!!


Actually, I think he did well,his Mum and I managed to put him off a few times, but overall, he managed to ignore us, and thats not easy.

Here is the video blog from when Trojan asked me all the same questions...oh dear!

Sal & Trojan

My kids loved this!

Do goats really grow on trees?

Apparently it’s not as strange as you might think in certain parts of the world.

Goats on trees are found mostly only in Morocco. The goats climb them because they like to eat the fruit of the argan tree, which is similar to an olive. Farmers actually follow the herds of goats as they move from tree to tree. Not because it is so strange to see goats in trees and the farmers like to point and stare (and take pictures for people like me), but because the fruit of the tree has a nut inside, which the goats can't digest, so they spit it up or excrete it which the farmers collect. The nut kernels can be ground to make argan oil used in cooking and cosmetics (yikes). This oil has been collected for hundreds of years, but like many wild and useful things these days, the argan tree is slowly disappearing due to over-harvesting for the tree's wood and overgrazing by goats.

Lovely to know that some of the stuff we eat of put on our face may have passed through a goat before it got to us…yuck!!!

gosh, I hope someone read that to the DOG they were for!!!

Well, if you need to be told, you probably shouldn't be using a chainsaw in the first place!

Yep! if you cannot read this label, please do not use this product!

I guess I'll have to find something else for lunch...honestly!

I actually managed to escape the house last night, it was nothing short of a military run exercise, I needed to be AWOL for about five hours…unheard of! So it took a days planning, Deion’s exercises were done early, he was bathed and ready for bed by six o’clock in the evening, dinner was done, e-mails were answered, all my work done, I even managed to brush my hair and put on some lipstick!!!

I went to meet an old friend…this is a girl I grew up with, we were inseparable from the age of about seven until we were about eighteen, then we got jobs, went of in separate directions, moved away and slowly lost touch.

It was so wonderful to see her, it bought back so many memories. We talked about things I haven’t thought of in years, it was hilarious. We had so much catching up to do.

And she hasn’t changed a bit, and it made me realise, that even though years have passed, we still are the same people in so many ways. Oh, I know, we’ve aged, we’ve both been through a lot, and we are different in so many ways, life does that doesn’t it. But the essence of what makes us...’us’…is still there; the same sense of humour, the same mannerisms even, the same values. I guess I forget that, I can’t remember not being a mum, can’t remember what I did, what filled my time before my life was how it is now. But somewhere deep down, I have a giggly eighteen year old inside of me that needs to express herself sometimes, life didn’t quite manage to kill her off!!!!

We’re going to stay in touch definitely now, not because we need to hash over the past, although those memories are valuable, but because the same things that made us click and enjoy each others company were still there after all these years, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much.

Now all I need to do is deal with the Armageddon that occurred while I was not here to pick up after everyone!!!!

Take care

Sal xxx

Heartwarming!

So Gentle!

Blissfully happy!

Loving and nurturing!


Kind!

???????????

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This is one of my favourite TV ads of all time...enjoy!

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Deion had a physiotherapy session yesterday afternoon. Deion’s physiotherapist is a lovely guy, who is always thinking of ways to make Deion’s exercises less of a chore and more fun for him.

His latest idea is Deion’s favourite one yet!

Deion goes in the standing hoist sling which you can see here, we then raise it up off the floor until he is almost upright. Just high enough so that he has to take some of his own weight and hold himself upright.

And then we give him a football.

Deion loves it, he’s very proud of his ball skills and he has no idea that while he's playing, he’s using his trunk muscles to stay upright, all of his leg muscles to take his weight and control the ball and even his neck muscles, arm and shoulder muscles to give him momentum. He gets a really good stretch of the hamstrings and his ankle muscles are working and stretching hard too.

He plays until his little legs are literally shaking with the effort bless his heart, but he’s certainly building some strong muscle’s in those calves and thighs. I'm so very proud of his determination and all his hard work.

We videoed this for him and he is proudly showing it to everyone.

He’s ready to sign for Arsenal now!

Sally & Deion

xxx

A wonderful life lesson!


One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.

And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

so...


Love the people who treat you right.

Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

The seeds you plant today, determine the harvest you reap tomorrow.

Have a great Day,

Sal

xxxxx

Special dentist

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday. I told her that I had to take Deion to the dentist again, and I think I was having a bit of a moan about the distance we have to travel, and the waiting… she asked me why I went there and not somewhere closer or less busy, she even told me about her own dentist..."Is there stairs?" I asked. "Oh, yeah, there's tons actually," she said. (most the dentists in our area have stairs).

So I explained to her how all the kids with special needs had to go to this particular dentist, it's the special needs dentist for our borough.

She was shocked…of course she had no idea that kids like Deion need special dentists.

I guess most people don’t.

But most dentist offices aren’t accessible for wheelchairs, and of course Deion needs to stay in his wheelchair for treatment, its not like the average dentist office is equipped with ceiling track hoists. And there's the issue of being sensitive to a child's needs, whatever they are, behavioural, social, physical.

We had terrible trouble getting Deions elder brother, Aaron to the dentist, he didn't mind going, he even liked the equipment and the chair, but he also liked to bite...so after almost losing a finger or two a few times, the dentist decided it was safer to knock him out. I don't mean hit him over the head with a mallet or anything (although the dentist with the bleeding fingers may have been tempted) but he had to go under anaesthetic for any treatment.

I guess this is just one more thing I've got used to and think nothing of, one more thing that other people don't realise.