Sally's World

Hi there, I know I said I would write this weekly, but apparently, I lied and here I am less than a day later.

I had 16 e-mails yesterday through the Heaven's Special Child site, all from people who'd seen the video and blog, all asking me about Aaron. Well there was one guy who asked me for a date, which only led me to question his eyesight and/or the level of alcohol in his blood stream, I know I didn't look my best okay!!!!

A couple of e-mails were from mum's with children who have terminal illnesses, a few were from mums and dad's, and mostly they were people asking about Aaron and the books. So I thought I'd write a bit about him here for people to see.

What to say about Aaron. Aaron is the most incredible person I have ever met in my life. He didn't just meet life head on, he wrestled it to the ground and beat it into submission, and he never NEVER let his physical limitations hold him back. He did everything. For a child who couldn't talk, he was surprisingly forceful in getting his own way, he'd point to the place or activity of interest, then point to his own chest and say 'me now mum' in his own way.

At first it was tennis, football, karate...no problem, I was a little worried about archery (as was the instructor who nearly got shot in the backside). I barely hesitated when he wanted to go rock climbing and abseiling. White water rafting, I was less sure about and voiced my concerns to Aaron, but he gave me a look that sent me scurrying off to the computer to find the tamest version of this sport that I could. When we decided to swim with dolphins in the warm waters of the Bahamas, I was surprisingly keen (shocking) and had it arranged before anyone could say 'Bahama's, no Sal, I said bananas.'

When he wanted to visit Lapland however, I was horrified, 'me now mum' he pointed. 'But its really cold Aaron, you can't keep warm as it is,' I said. So Aaron signed Father Christmas...'me now mum.' By now I was stamping my feet, rubbing my arms and making bbrrrrr noises for emphasis. 'but its minus 40 there Aaron, are you mad?' so Aaron looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I sighed and rang the travel agent. Yep, mad!

But the truth is, we went willingly on Aaron's adventures, and if we didn't he would have dragged us bodily anyway!

Now, I'm not going to pretend it was all fun and laughter, anyone with a special needs child knows it is hard work and at times you reach a level of tiredness you didn't know even existed. Aaron had a syndrome that not only meant he was as strong as an ox, he didn't feel pain, self injured and had violent outbursts. So he smashed windows, we fitted toughened glass, and when he ripped his radiator off the wall, we fixed it with reinforced steel fixings, and when he threw the TV at me, hey, it was our fault for not bolting it down. He broke my nose more than once, knocked me out a few times and I lost a couple of teeth...but I have more teeth, and hair grows back I reminded myself every time Aaron was holding a clump of mine in his pudgy little first.

But then, Aaron had a way of saying sorry with a hug and a gentle stroke of your face and you could forgive him anything. Because after all, there was nothing to forgive. Even when he decided it was time to leave us. I think he believed he had taught us all the lessons we needed and his little body had fought so long. He was ready to go.

Oh, I'll not pretend I didn't have a few tantrums at the unfairness of it all, after all I'm only human (don't tell anyone), and a mum who had lost her baby boy. But mostly when I think of Aaron I'm grateful. Grateful he chose me to be his mum, grateful he was who he is and grateful beyond words that I got to spend 14 incredible years with him. No-one can take that away, and he made me into the mum/wife/daughter/sister/friend/person I am today. The thought of him fills me with love, and that goes for anyone who knew him, because he embodied the true meaning of the word.

So thank you for your e-mails, I am always happy to talk/boast/gush about Aaron.

I welcome your comments.

See you soon

Sal xxx