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What is the life sentence for murder these days????
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
One things for sure, the rule book goes out of the window when you have a child with special needs.
It amazes me how different things are. When Jordan and Robyn went to secondary school it was easy really, so we traipsed round all the schools in our catchment area, weighed up all the pros and cons, talked to teachers, pupils, analysed the exam results… essentially it was pretty simple, and they’ve been very happy with the choices we all made…
So obviously with Deion, we got embroiled in a big fight about which school, because somehow the education department thought that having special needs meant you didn’t have as much right to choose, but we got our own way in the end…then there was the fight to get suitable toileting facilities, anyone would think I was asking for a space rocket, not simply suitable toileting facilities…I’d probably have more have more luck and less fuss getting my hands on a bloody space rocket….note to self, ring NASA!!!
Next came transport…think we’re almost there on that point…the school are being great and we are ironing out any other issues…relatively small regarding what happens in a fire drill, desk heights, classroom organisation, low coat hooks, games and PE…..all surmountable issues…
But here comes the bit I don’t get, the thing I fear we’ll never alter, and that’s ignorance. Now, when JJ and Robyn went off to secondary school, not a single person ever asked me if they would be taking exams when they left school…the question of them leaving with a decent education went without saying…it is expected no???
So explain to me why someone would ask me (with a scoff of derision no less) if I thought Deion would really get any GCSE’s.
I get Deion is different... $h!t, Deion gets he’s different…but since when did different mean stupid????
As parents, when your child has a disability, yes, you adjust your goals and expectations if you like…it’s not the first steps you crave, it’s a new electric wheelchair so that he can drive himself. Okay, its not football, but wheelchair basketball, we’ve been told the likelihood is that Deion wont be able to have children of his own…so we might look forward to the day he fosters or adopts a child, he may chose not to have children.
But we are blessed, and Deion has merely physical limitations, not academic ones…hence the fact he can attend a mainstream school, hence the fact he is so bright its scary, has a sarcastic/cheeky/okay, if I’m honest an evil streak to rival Dennis the Menace….why would we think he wont be taking exams…don’t all kids in mainstream school take exams…is it not what is expected????
So to the woman…who I am also sending this post to also, who works with children in special education, who is supposed to be helping and supporting us…quite frankly up yours!!! Is your child taking exams…what’s that?...no kids, oh, could have guessed that…you probably couldn’t raise a cat! I’m sure when Deion graduates from University…you’ll still be sat behind that desk, not having a clue about real life…
Deion knows he can do whatever he wants in life…the people that know and love him spend a lot of time and energy making sure he knows he has no limitations in life…so when someone, who should quite frankly know better, comes along and has the ability to undo all that work in one sentence…it makes me so mad I could spit…
Needless to say, we wont be having anything to do with this person in future…after all, I would like to see Deion graduate from college, instead of serving a prison sentence for murder!!!
And just for the record, that’s not a threat, I’m merely venting my anger and frustration at your incompetence, ignorance and stupidity!
28 April 2009 at 10:31
Some people are just too stupid for words!!! My parents had to deal with that attitude when I was a kid.
The 'powers that be' didn't want me in public school, saying I "couldn't possibly keep up". I got to go to public school and I proved their @$$es wrong.
28 April 2009 at 10:46
Ugh! That person must be related to the doctor that once told me, upon first meeting us and having not even looked at my son, "...children such as yours, with diminished mental capacity..."
My husband and I always laugh about our son's "diminished mental capacity" as we watch him do some incredibly smart thing (which strikes fear in our hearts!). *sigh*
Even those with developmental disabilities are not stupid.
28 April 2009 at 12:48
People can be so insensitive! I'm sorry you had to run into one of them.
I don't know about your son's disabilities, but I am glad he is an overcomer!
I have a profoundly retarded SIL, who is 53 this year, and my MIL thinks she is the greatest. Sometimes I get upset, because she also has 7 other healthy, intelligent, tax paying, loving, supportive children. I need to remind myself that my SIL needs all the support she can get. She is in a state home, a very good one with only 6 total in the house, with at least 3-4 caregivers around the clock. She goes to 'school' every day M-F, shops, and watches TV, etc. When we all get to heaven, we will be so pleased with what she is!
Thank you for this post!
28 April 2009 at 13:34
stupid people piss me off. Im sorry I dont have any other words for you....this venting post was a good one though.
28 April 2009 at 13:41
i know. i had a big blow up with the school just yesterday because my son (who i have specifically emailed all the teachers about, met with them in person, and made sure they know about his 'file') got in trouble for being in the bathroom too long. security was called, he was berated in front of the other students and even though he has a MUCH better attitude about this than i, was horribly embarrassed. it makes me so mad.
i guess all we can do is continue to speak out. continue to educate.
28 April 2009 at 13:57
I can't believe the nerve of some people. Are you kidding me. Why in the world would someone say that. I pray that your fight becomes easier as the years progress. I pray it becomes easier because the world starts accepting and reaching out to special needs children.
PS I think I am perfectly pretty. The post wasn't about that really : ) But thank you!
28 April 2009 at 14:27
Oh, good grief. The nerve of that ignorant woman!! You are right in saying that she probably could even raise a cat!! (I giggled a bit at that part...sorry. I know you were frustrated, but you're still funny :)
28 April 2009 at 14:54
disgraceful, utterly disgraceful
28 April 2009 at 15:06
And this person is educated ????If that is true...I am sure that I wound't want this person teaching my child how to pick their nose! Oh I feel your anger and you have a right to "own" it. People who open their mouths should think before saying something that will prove them stupid.
28 April 2009 at 15:25
Way to be the MaMa BEAR!!
Some people are definately ignorant.
Your son sounds like he is a ball of fire and will go far in life!
How could he not with his mom as his #1 fan fighting for him and rooting for him every step of the way!
You are a GREAT mom and you son is a lucky boy!!
Good luck and don't worry about the people in this world who don't get it - they are missing out!
28 April 2009 at 15:37
What an amazing mom you are and there is no doubt in my mind that your child will be just as successful and have just as many doors opened for him as any other child would. With a support team as strong as you and your hubbie, and I'm sure your friends,how could he fail?! I think the problem with today's society is that people like to make up excuses for why they have or could fail. If I understand this correctly, in California, the state gives leniency to a certain race during testing. So even though the child might have failed a test miserably, they will still pass him or her, moving said child up to the next grade level or heaven-forbid graduating them, just because they may not understand the English lanuguage as well. What an injustice to the child! I am so proud of you for fighting for what is right for your son. If only all parents were that way then maybe we wouldn't have such ignorant, insensitive (the list goes on) people running around. Here's to hoping your "fight" gets easier with time but to also hoping that you never give up on the fight!
28 April 2009 at 16:23
I really hate stupid.
28 April 2009 at 17:38
Sounds to me like Deion is far smarter then these people (or person) at the school. I understand your frustration. Closed minded people and ignorance is just plain out annoying, especially when it has to do with a child, your child.
28 April 2009 at 18:49
All I can say is thank you for being so strong where other's are not. Your defending your child's right to an education is going to over flow...maybe they will think twice before doing that to another child. (one would hope)
28 April 2009 at 21:47
As usual Sally, you have a great way of raising interesting and serious issues, but doing so with a quick wit!
I wanted to share my new blog with you. I just started it today, but I've been thinking about doing it for a long time.
It's called The Gentle Giant and it's going to be about my life with my daughter, Abby, who is high functioning autistic. Here's the address: http://abbythegentlegiant.blogspot.com/
Thanks!
28 April 2009 at 23:22
why do people continue to think that special needs means stupid? Education is a right for all not just the so called normal kids. Its comments like this that shows us how far our so called inclusive society has really gone backward.
It take people like you and your readers to change perceptions and make things better. Oh by the way did you find out what is the life sentence for murder these days?
29 April 2009 at 00:39
Some people just don't get it! Good for you for explaining the jist to her! Maybe she won't let this happen again!
29 April 2009 at 01:58
Sally, I understand your fury in a limited sense! My daughter is a special needs on a much less severe scale.
I have fought many a battle with the school system. Moving to middle school I feel another battle on the horizon.
Go MOM keep up that pressure and don't let dumb educators near your precious son.
29 April 2009 at 05:29
WOW! I know exactly how you feel. i get SO tired of the ignorance that you find in the education system when dealing with special needs children.
It's so frustrating!
Good for you telling her where to go! Sounds like it probably needed to be done long ago. UGH!
29 April 2009 at 15:28
Thank you so much everyone for your supportive comments, i was worried i'd gone a bit over the top there for a mo...but when i thought about what I really wanted to say to her...it was clam in comparisson lol!!! sorry, for taking so long to answer, had 24 hr sickness bug from hell...still wobbly, but going to post something in a mo too....
29 April 2009 at 20:04
That is absolutely horrible. I cannot believe someone can bet that insensitive *Acutally, I can I just don't understand how*. I am so sorry you have to deal with such ignorance.