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Just An Observation
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Wow, I know I'm late for me today...but had 24hr sickness bug from hell....I know I always gripe about needing to lose a few pounds....but this is not the way to do it...feeling a bit wobbly and sorry for myself...maybe thats why todays post not so upbeat..sorry...
I spoke to a friend of mine the other night, her husband has been made redundant and she is worried that they won’t be able to make the mortgage payments and will lose the house. I tried to offer words of comfort, but she said, ‘Sal, unless you’ve been there, you don’t get it.’ And I realised how true that was, when anything happens to us, the world suddenly divides into two halves.
When Aaron passed away, the world suddenly divided, there was mums who had lost sons…and those that hadn’t…all black and white, no in between.
And that is how it is for anyone I think, miscarriages, robbery, rape, losing your home, stress and grief makes us feel separated by the invisible line, and that is what makes it feel so lonely.
29 April 2009 at 15:51
You nailed it with this one. There is definitely an invisible line between those who have experienced some form of tragedy and those who have not.
29 April 2009 at 16:25
There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy. And your friend has seen it.
PS-Get well soon!
29 April 2009 at 16:39
I agree that the world divides in most situations. But there are also people who can accept peoples words and actions, and people who cant. Or at the time cant. I think we have all, in some way or another unbeknownst to others, had to bear hard times. We all have things that others cant imagine going through. But I totally agree that it divides between those who know and those who think they know, or think they can imagine.
I hope you get to feelin better. We had that 24 hour junk too. Man it was something else, HORRIBLE. Its amazing when a little bug can knock you off your feet in such a way that you are not sure if you should go to the hospital or not. Though, I think with this swine flu there is not much that could get me near one... Get better!
29 April 2009 at 16:46
Yes this is true and I do understand this concept. But the way I see it, just to have someone there for you and caring about you in a bad situation helps tremendoulsy whether they have been there or not. The part that helps when someone has been there is the wisdom they have to get through it.
29 April 2009 at 17:09
Hope you're feeling better. That flu bug is a nast one. And I have to agree with your post...nobody can really get it until it's happened to them.
29 April 2009 at 17:53
So true, it is hard to get when you have not walked down that same road. But I certainly believe that people can have empathy and be there for one another.
So sorry you had the bug, praying you get well soon...
29 April 2009 at 18:21
I hope you feel better Sally, and I'm sorry to hear about your friend.
In reagrds to "the line". Yeah it is there, but some situations are similar enough that people can extrapolate how your situation must feel like. Take your friend for instance, she must feel like all the security she had in the world is threatened, and she's questioning all of her values and limits. Well isn't that kinda close to how you felt when Aaron passed. Or how I felt when my most trusted friend and gf of 4 years cheated on me. No it's not the SAME exact thing, but the emotions are the same. Her world is falling apart, and she feels like there's nothing she can do, and that everything won't be alright...but it will be and it can. It may take time, but someday, it will be alright.
29 April 2009 at 18:41
I am so sorry you have not been feeling well. I hope that it passes soon. Being sick is never fun; but being sick AND being a mom is even worse.
As for your post: I couldn't agree more. There are many out there who can sympathize but oh-so-few who can actually empathize.
29 April 2009 at 18:43
Oh no the FLU! Ugh feel better quickly, nobody likes to be sick. I agree we all endure our own trials. But I don't think that means we're alone.
29 April 2009 at 19:00
Since you had alread done the last Meme I tagged you for, I thought it was only fair that I tag you for another one : )
29 April 2009 at 19:02
You have it very right. We are born alone and we die alone and the things inbetween sometimes we must endure alone.
It can be hard.
29 April 2009 at 19:58
so truthfully said and correct... hope you get to feeling better soon!
29 April 2009 at 20:01
I would have to say you are 100% right about this one. That line certainly does exsist.
I am sorry you have been feeling bad, Hope that you get all better very soon!
29 April 2009 at 22:14
My mom had a bug last week that caused her to lose 5 pounds. She's trying to lose weight but that's not how she wanted it to do it.
Hope you're feeling better soon!
When someone's family member passes away, I just say, "I'm sorry" because I don't know how they feel. My parents and siblings are still alive.
I always get a little irritated when someone says, "Yeah, I know how you feel. I broke my leg and was in a wheelchair for awhile." I feel like saying, "When you've been in one for 15 years, get back to me."
30 April 2009 at 00:10
Oh, so true! Only if we could allow those who have not had our bad experiences in with their thoughts, we may feel better!
30 April 2009 at 01:50
Sally--
as Tom so eloquently stated "There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy." When we are in pain our first instinct is to push away, especially from those who cannot possibly understand. At the same time, we cannot feel the pain of those who are so desperately trying to help some one they care about. It is only after time when we see them and that we feel what they were trying to give us.
You were and are there for your friend.
Feel better.
c