Sally's World

I don't know who wrote this, but it was sent to me by a friend and I wanted to share it.

When I have no one to turn to
And I am feeling kind of low,
When there is no one to talk to
And nowhere I want to go,

I search deep within myself
It is the love inside my heart
That lets me know my Angels are there
Even though we are miles apart.

A smile then appears upon my face
And the sun begins to shine.
I hear a voice, so soft and sweet
Saying, 'Everything will be just fine'

It may seem that I am alone
But I am never by myself at all.
Whenever I need my Angels near
All I have to do is call.

An Angel's love is always true
On that you can depend.
They will always stand behind you
And will always be your friend.

Through darkest hours and brightest days
Our Angel's see us through
They smile when we are happy,
and will cry when we are blue..

Thanks for being my Angel my friend
I will be there for you until the end.

This is a song that always makes me think of Aaron, not just because R.Kelly was his favourite singer, but because the words (especially the chorus) are lovely.....and apt...

"I wish that I could hold you now
I wish that I could touch you now
I wish that I could talk to you
Be with you somehow
I know you're in a better place
Even though I can't see your face
I know you're smiling down on me
Saying everything's okay


And if i make it out this life
I'll see you again someday
I wish, I wish, I wish
I wish, I wish, I wish"

You will not believe what happened to us the other day...actually...sadly, you probably will. We were not allowed in a shop because Deion may have broken something while in his wheelchair...apparently, kids in electric chairs are NOT ALLOWED. Pushable ones, and buggies are okay, but electric chairs are too much of a risk in the breakable goods department.

Okay,I'll tell you what I wanted to break, and it wasn't anything they were selling in the shop!!!

"So let me get this straight?" I asked in something just below roar level! "Disabled people are not allowed in your store."

"Oh yes, of course they are," said 'thick as shit' store assistant, "just not kids in electric chairs!"

Well,I don't need to go on about the small argument that ensued, and there's certainly no need to repeat any of the threats made (who me?)...

But the manager was called, we were assured that it IS NOT store policy to keep out electric chairs, and the 'thick as shit' assistant got it wrong. Apologies were made, I resisted the urge to tell Deion to drive around at top speed like demolition derby and break everything he could (very understanding of us I think!)

And I know what will happen next, we'll get a letter of apology from head office and some store vouchers, I know this, because it happened once before in another store. I don't want the bloody store vouchers, I want to be able to go shopping with my son and not be turned away because he's in a wheelchair...simple...you'd think! The vouchers will be rolled up and returned with a suggestion of where they should put them!

Okay, I know we are moving ahead, and things are improving...but come on...can we get there a bit quicker please, people are being treated like second/third class citizens here! GGRRRRR!

If you know anyone who has a wheelchair, and you want some stickers or number plates, then let me know. Deion and his Friends love theirs and I send samples to my t-shirt customers, they are great, and I have loads...so let me know and I'll stick (sorry couldn't resist) some in the post.

I take no responsibility what so ever.......

We have finally got acompletion date for the move...five weeks....where do I start??? how on earth did we manage to accumulate so much stuff???

I'm being ruthless, the toys they don't play with are going to the hospital, the clothes they no longer wear are going to the charity shop, Daves twenty million boxes of paperwork spanning 20 years are going in the shredder...any kitchen appliances that were obviously bought in order to keep me in the kitchen 'doing' for everyone else...binned! any clothes I have kept, waiting for them to come back into fashion, recycled, I don't think the charity shops even want my multitude of power suits with shoulder pads to rival that of any footballers.

I want zen like minimalism, well in one room at least.

I am looking forward to living in our new house, but I am dreading the move itself. The disorganisation of being upside down...

The kids are busy planning colours for their new rooms, which would be fine if Deion didn't want orange and black...I need to find a compromise.

Okay, I'm off to tackle the cupboard under the stairs now, I dread to think what I'll find..... probably the bones of the last guy who came to read the meter...

I can't remember the last time I had a good cry, I go into zombie mode instead. Some sort of self preservation I guess...today, I can't seem to stop, my emotions seem so close to the surface.

I can't seem to get a hold of my emotions this last few weeks, I was so angry the other week I wanted to strangle someone, now, today, the slightest thing (and I mean the slightest thing) and I want to cry.

I suppose there have been a few changes lately, Deion becoming more independent and going to big school for one, more working and even less sleep for me for another, and with the move coming up.

I don't know...sorry, nothing positive to say today....ignore me!

Sometimes you can tell whats been going on in my life by the quotes I put in a post...this is DEFINITELY one of those times!!!

"He finally accepted that if you don't succeed, then try doing it how your wife suggested in the first place!"

I loved when the kids were small, and birthdays were all about cake and balloons.

Now they are all about the right dress and make overs.

Robyn was 15 at the weekend, and no, she didn't want a McDonald's party, or to go to the park or adventure playground, she wanted to shop til she dropped and to have a sophisticated lunch with her friends....

Where do the years go???

Okay, so i know i said yesterday the ball was probably a mistake, but look at Deion having fun with it...everything else is replaceable, can't buy smiles like that!!!!

Yes, I'm not quite sure what I was thinking, I was out and simply saw this, thought crikey, that's a bargain, and bought it because I know Deion will love it, he can actually play wheelchair football/soccer in this.

Of course, I hadn't banked on Dave seeing it first and taking out the table lamp, an ornament and almost killing the computer monitor....

I blame his mum, apparently when he was little, she would tell him off for playing soccer in the house and follow it up with "when you own your own house, you can play soccer in it."

I have asked her about this, and she didn't look quite as put out as I would have hoped.

Worst of all, I heard myself saying it to Jordan about tennis the other day!!!

I don't know whether to hide it now, or give them a chance, I guess, I could pack away anything breakable, valuable, precious!!!

You gotta admit though, it looks cool!

Wonder Woman is my all time favourite hero, so I want to thank my good friend Wendy for a gift i received in the post today.

She saw it and thought of me, i am touched, but then, i often am by the things that Wendy says and does, she is a lovely person and has been a great support to me over the years.

We met because she was Aaron's teacher...goodness...about 10 years ago. Wendy is an outstanding special needs teacher, and has this perfect way of being firm but fun...although when i look back at the photos, an extraordinary amount of her lessons involved food!!

Wendy always made us mums feel like we were doing a great job. She is well loved, and remains special to us. I always said that Aaron found us the best people, and he found us Wendy.

Now, in my eyes, Wendy is a bit of a wonder woman herself, although i prefer to covet the title, she really is. no matter what she's been through, is going through, I've never seen her feel sorry for herself once. spirited, modest, loving, and yes, sorry Wendy, a Little crazy too (the best of us are!)

So here is a picture of my gift, i didn't include me head and face, it's been a long day, i have no time for make-up, and i didn't want to give you nightmares.

I love it!!!

Apparently, if you see anything other than dolphins, you have a filthy mind!!!

I don't get it, I only see dolphins, what else is it supposed to be ;)

Today, I came to realise that I may be too open with the kids. especially Deion, who can't seem to keep his mouth shut about anything!

The kids know what I do, I tell them about some of the kids I see, what they go through, how they live, the trouble they are in and whats ahead for some of them. I don't give them details, especially not when its a rape of murder case, I don't want to to give them nightmares, but it's just so they can see where that road can lead, and perhaps to make them more aware of the dangers around them.

Part of what I do means that I will go into a prison if a juvenile needs to be questioned. So today, I have to go to a prison, be escorted with a kid to the local police station where he can be interviewed, then be escorted back to prison, then I can leave.

Little did I know that Deion happily went off to school telling them that "Mummy's going to prison today!"
of course it doesn't help that he has been telling them that I go to police stations ALOT!!!

They are aware (NOW!) of what I do, thank goodness, I just hope he hasn't been telling his friends the same thing...I don't expect we'll have many friends round for tea if they tell their mum that they want to come to Deion's house, but by the way, his mum is in prison....

Kids!!! still, you gotta see the funny side!

I grew up on Dirty Dancing, I must have seen the film thousands of times, and even though Dave never liked it, he took me to the stage show for our anniversary a couple of years ago.

Its part of my teens, and I still love it today... so as a tribute to Patrick Swayze on this sad day, here is the last dance scene, my favourite, can't watch this without getting a pang in your heart. xxxx

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth as you might think, and believe me, it has felt like that a couple of times... I have a new job that is taking up any precious spare moments I had.

It's rewarding, but busy. I'm working as an 'appropriate adult'...which means that when anyone under 17 or an adult who's mentally vulnerable gets arrested, I am there to make sure their rights and welfare are maintained while they are in custody and while being interviewed.

I have travelled all over London so far. And, there are moments, say when its 2am, and I have to be up in three hours, and I'm still at a police station miles away trying to convince a 14 year old, with over sixty previous offences, that its in their best interests to consult a solicitor, that I wonder what I'm doing!

I'm spending so much time in the custody suite, I'm beginning to empathise with the prisoners!

There's been a couple of good moment's, the other day I got called a white, bitch, whore, social worker....

"hey, I object to being called a social worker," I said.

It broke the ice, he was okay with me after that.

There's been a couple of shaky moments too, like having a chat with a (huge) guy who beat two women to a pulp, because he hears voices telling him that women are the devil...that's really not much fun. Then again, I think my husband hears those voices too!!!!

Generally, once people realise you are there to help them and not judge them, they are okay.

It is certainly an eye opener, and it makes me appreciate my own parents and upbringing, my own kids, and even more, it makes me dislike the system that lets these people down so often.

So if I am about a bit less than normal, if I'm not posting every day, you know why. Hopefully life will settle back down soon...HA!!!

Enthusiastic is the word best used to describe Deion's feeling for school, he's had a brilliant week.

The school have worked hard, got the balance just right, and the people they have hired for Deion gel really well with him. They are keeping in touch every day, I couldn't ask for more. The teachers have praised him, his helpers have laughed with him and Deion is relentless in making sure they know they support really bad soccer teams!

The older kids have told him what a cool wheelchair he has (it is cool!) and the lunch ladies have taken a shine to him, he seems to get an extraordinary amount of food, and still come home with lots of change!

Deion is worn out by the end of the day, but still can't wait to tell us about his adventures.

P.E. was a concern for me, but the coach has got the balance right too, Deion is a sort of mini coach, so he timed the kids doing the bleep tests. I think he may have been a little over zealous in his motivational technique, but I'll bet they ran faster lol!

My baby's growing up fast!

I was walking into the gas station to pay for gas when I heard someone say that a plane had just crashed into one of the twin towers, "Don't be ridiculous" said someone else, so he held out his phone and showed a us a text. The guy behind the counter turned on the TV behind him and we stood and watched as we realised that the lives of millions of people would be changed forever. In the end, no-one moved, no-one payed, we just stood there watching the horror unfold, about twenty of us stood still in shock, even a little boy of about five, stood clinging silently to his mums hand.

The news and TV was nothing but that for weeks, like millions of others, I had nightmares over the footage, the people leaping out of windows put my heart in my mouth, the shock the loss, the dreaded reminder that life is so precious and can be over so quickly. To kiss your husband, wife, daughter, son, off to work and never see them again.

The feeling of being able to do nothing was overwhelming, even for those of us who were thousands of mile away, or didn't know anyone there, the world was united in grief for those who were lost, and those who were left behind. United in anger at the monsters capable of ending so many Innocent lives.

It really was the day the world stood still!

We went looking for a new kitchen over the weekend, I walked into the showroom, knew what I wanted, knew what would work for me...simple.

I was shocked at the amount of input everyone else in the family had...especially as they all spend about...ooh...ZERO percent of their time in the kitchen!!!

Even Deion decided he didn't like my cabinet choice, he prefered the black and orange ones (I kid you not!)Dave was critical over my double oven choice, ridiculous, seeing as he would know how to turn the old one on if I asked him.

Do I really need a dishwasher? "NO," I said, "but everyone else will have to chip in with the washing up."

Silence.

okay, it now appears dishwasher is at the top of the list.

It was ridiculous, a 30 minute job turned into two hours of everyone else deciding what I should have to cook with.

Jordan and Robyn do like to chip in with the cooking, they haven't got to the clearing up after themselves bit yet, so invariably when they emerge with a masterpiece, the kitchen looks like a tornado has passed through, but they are trying.

So in the end we left with nothing, I'm going to go back all by myself, I shall chose what I want.

Let your love be sincere a real thing; hate what is evil loathe all ungodliness, turn in horror from wickedness, but hold fast to that which is good.

Romans 12: 9

Trojan fron Trojan's Corner tagged me... so here goes...

1. What’s your current obsession? Chocolate, Salsa and Chocolate (did I mention chocolate?)

2. What’s your weirdest obsession? Tidiness, having things lined up just right, towels, tins, jars...!!!

3. What are you wearing today? Vera Wang...kidding...jeans of course!

4. Why is today special? I get to spend the day with my kids.

5. What would you like to learn to do? Master salsa so that I'm fabulous, and stay calm in life always!

6. What’s the last thing you bought? About a million pounds worth of school uniform and school equipment...

7. What are you listening to right now? Deion and Robyn talking about Battle Strikers, if only you asked me ten minutes ago, I could have said I was listening to a lecture on child psychology, I would have sounded far more intelligent.

8. What’s your favorite weather? Hot, sunny, sunshine, with a lovely warm sea breeze if poss.

9. What’s your most challenging goal right now? Staying sane (oops! failed miserably)

10. What do you think about the person who tagged you? Trojan is a great guy with a big heart, creative, fun, supportive, honest (sometimes too much so lol) and enthusiastic always xxx.

11. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate.

12. Favorite vacation spot? Bimini in the Bahamas.


13. What would you like to have in your hands right now? I'd have Aaron's hand in mine, I'd never let go!


14. What would you like to get rid of? Guilt, frustration and anger...and maybe about three inches off my arse!

15. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go: Rome!


16.Which language do you want to learn? Fluent Italian, I know enough to get by, I'd love to be fluent.

17.What super power would you like to possess? Invisibility (I spent an extraordinary amount of time thinking about this lol!)


18. What’s your favorite thing about the city you live in? I love the diversity.

19.What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet? I have a mandarin style dress that I love, it makes me feel so elegant, I hardly ever get to wear it, but when I do I feel like a princess.

20. What’s your dream job? Running a Dolphin Program.

21. If you had $/£/€150 now what would you spend it on? Chocolate.... no, sadly, bills!


22. Do you admire anyone’s style? Audrey Hepburn for the past, Victoria beckham for now.


23.Describe your personal style. I'd love to be able to say Cool, smart and sexy like Trojan did LOL....but I hate to lie, so I'll have to say, the first thing I find in my closet, mainly jeans and t-shirts, practicality wins out in my house I'm afraid!


24. Who’s fashion show would you want tickets to? Errmmm, Calvin Klein (mens underwear preferably)?

25. If you had to slap one person with no repercussions, who would it be and why? Well, theres a certain doctor who I would love to slap...actually, I take that back, slappings too good, I actually want to run over him in the car....I would slap Russel Brand (he annoys me and needs a good wash, can someone please brush his hair???) Pete Doherty (same washing reason) Amy Winehouse (sort yourself out) Lady Gaga (put some clothes on woman) Katie Price (grow up) Kerry Katona (YOUR A MUM START ACTING LIKE ONE)...okay, I got carried away, sorry!

26. What are you most proud of? My Kids.

27. If you could choose one person to have lunch with who would it be and why? Okay, I know I should say somehthign deep and meaningful here, but Deion is desparate to meet Lewis Hamilton, so I'd take Deion to meet him. It would make his year, and after what he's been through lately, goodness, he'd deserve it.

Now the rules of this tag:

1. Respond and rework: answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention
2. Tag 7 other people you would love to learn more about.

Click on the links below to discover seven wonderful and diverse blogs!

1. Gloria's Spanish View

2. Thoughts by Dena

3. http://www.islandroar.com/

4. Grandma's Page

5. http://jjinla.blogspot.com/

6. Funk Squared

7. Beauty Be Good

Don't worry, I don't mean my husband, although, that would be preferable to the heart wrenching agony I felt when Deion wheeled himself into his first day at secondary school.

I actually thought I was having a heart attack at one point, all the while Deion was saying "don't worry mum, I can handle it." I think I don't like realising I have to let go, and he's my baby, the youngest, the last one.... I don't like to believe I am not as needed as I think I am!

Deion had a great day, he looked so grown up, he made lots of new friends, reconnected with those from primary school. He was full of tales of having his own lift key, a classroom assistant that supports a 'like, totally, rubbish' football team and what he had for lunch.

It turns out that the nervous breakdown and the mild stroke I had were unwarranted.

The pictures make my heart melt, I am a proud mum....here's my 'not so' baby!!!

Trojan (Trojan's Corner) posted this on his blog recently. It made me laugh, and bought back a good memory, so I stole it!!!

Please note, out of the two of us...Trojan is the only one who looks evil!!!

As I mentioned, we've spent the last few weeks getting organised for the imminent return to school, we've been to the school outfitters, the stationers, every shoe shop within a twenty mile radius, we've sewn on badges, labels, paired socks, sharpened pencils, packed bags, trimmed hair, organised timetables....

Of course, goes without saying Deions special bathroom, toilet chair, changing table, hoists, slings, tables, care workers, key workers, classroom assistants, storage, fire evacu chairs, care plan, physio plan, O.T. plan, is all in place (the usual!!!)

But we are ready, two days to go and they are all abandoning me again... mixed emotions for me...I shall spend the first hour wandering around the house enjoying peace and quiet, then I shall clean and scrub for the next three, then I shall start missing them and counting down to four o clock, where they will all stampede through the house like a herd of elephants, or in Deion's case a demon driver....then I shall start counting down the hours until they leave for school again the next morning.

Hard to please...who me???

Because Deion sees the incontinence specialist, I have to monitor what he drinks and weigh his pads...its a whole big story about kidney and bladder function that I don't need to bore you with.

So to make it easier for me to monitor, Deion has a 500ml juice bottle.

Occasionally Dave will pick up the bottle and take a drink (an argument about his laziness to get his own drink, and making Deion's chart off usually ensues).

Now, since Deion had his appendix out, he's been constipated and having trouble going, so the doctor has given him some Movacol....2 saches a day in his 500ml bottle, and let me tell you it really works.

Now, I have been known very occasionally to be a tad evil!!! so when Dave picked up Deion's juice bottle and gulped it down, I didn't say anything, in fact, I told him to go ahead and finish it and I'd make Deion another (insert evil laugh here).

Of course, we all took an extraordinary amount of pleasure in telling him afterwards that the drink was laced!!! I feigned forgetfulness of course!

Note to self, stay away from bathroom after Dave....

I'm guessing he may leave Deions drinks alone from now on....

After my 'anger' post, a friend sent me this....made me laugh out loud!