smart arse answers....  

Monday 23 March 2009

Wow, if this is really a competition, my husband could win this one!!!!

SMART ARSE ANSWER 6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ARSE ANSWER 5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

SMART ARSE ANSWER 4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's
store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

SMART ARSE ANSWER 3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said. The kid replied,
'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSE ANSWER 2nd Place
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?'
The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand'.

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9 comments: to “ smart arse answers....

  • Anonymous
    23 March 2009 at 17:39  

    LOL, very funny!

  • littletoesandcheerios
    23 March 2009 at 19:48  

    LOL!
    Thanks for visiting me and come back anytime!

  • Kim
    23 March 2009 at 20:32  

    Very funny. I needed a good laugh. I'm digging your new blog design, esp. the butterfly on the side.

  • taitle
    23 March 2009 at 21:21  

    Ha that was hilarious XD

    My favourite was the one with the police-car.

  • Leslie
    23 March 2009 at 22:48  

    Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh on an otherwise very boring Monday.

    Love the new blog design!

  • Ashley
    24 March 2009 at 00:57  

    Haha, these are entertaining. =]
    My favorite is the one about suffering from sexual exhaustion. Hahaha. ♥ashh

  • RileyScott
    24 March 2009 at 14:05  

    I walked into the lost luggage kiosk at my local airport and said "Hello, i think my bag might have been misplaced".

    without looking up at me the woman replied "Has your plane landed yet?"

    I immediately responded "Nope, I'm just having an out of body experience and decided to check on them."

    Luckily I then spotted my bag on the next carousel, which I think was good, cause I don't think I was getting much help after that.

  • Sally's World
    24 March 2009 at 15:14  

    Rileyscott..thats sooo funny, I never think that quickly...about three days later i'd come up with a good response.

  • RileyScott
    24 March 2009 at 17:00  

    Oh, it's a rare occurrence for me as well. It's happened a few times when the circumstances were just right, and it felt great.

    My personal favorite time was when i went off on this movie like monologue that totally disproved my then girlfriends ludicrous point that she was totally basing the argument off of. It was a nice moment, we broke up a week later (sorry, no sex till after law school which at the time was 5 years away, NOT happening!)

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